In the morning, we all have our own private office routines. Checking for phone messages, grabbing a cup of coffee, turning on our computers, and checking our email. Then there are the social media routines. For me, that means checking my Facebook and Twitter sites, and taking a quick look to see if any BLArticle® comments need approval. All of these quick steps are fairly routine because these are fairly social in nature. And then there’s one more site to go, and that’s to LinkedIn to see what activity, messages, or invitations might be waiting for me.
I’m always struck by the invitations I receive. Most are from those who attend my seminars, but I also find invitations from those who have read my books, or from an old friend, or even from… well, let’s just say somehow my name popped up on their screen. But it’s not the request per se that surprises me; it’s the total lack of warmth with which they do it that surprises me.
Please remember, for many like me, LinkedIn is not Facebook. On Facebook, I keep a casual eye on the various activities of my friends. So and so bought a new house, baked a pie, took their dog for a walk, and other fascinating surprises that life throws at these Facebook friends. For some weird reason, these friends feel a burning desire to tell us all about it, but I digress. It’s social, and anything goes.
But LinkedIn is different. For me, LinkedIn has never been about collecting as many names as possible to show my friends how popular I might be. It’s about strategically linking up with others in business, and creating a database of business acquaintances and contacts. When I send out an invitation to someone, it’s because I genuinely would like to have him or her be a part of my LinkedIn family. My assumption is that whoever is reaching out to me, is feeling the same way.
So, let’s pretend for a moment that I don’t really know you very well. Let’s also pretend that you actually want to linkup with me. Maybe you think I might somehow help you in the future, or perhaps you think I could be a good resource for you someday. Or who knows… maybe you just happen to like me. I have to assume that if you are asking me to linkup with you, you actually want me to respond and accept your invitation. Strangely enough, you would never know it by the vast majority of invitations I receive. Consider the two invitations that I received last week:
Hi Rob,
It was such a pleasure having you again at our annual conference. We always learn a lot from your presentations. I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.
Kindest regards,
Linda
AND:
Robert,
I’d like to add you to my professional network.
I did not know either person well. Take your time and try to figure out which LinkedIn invitation I plan on responding to. I plan on accepting the first one, and I can assure you, I will take a moment to warmly thank them for reaching out. Why wouldn’t I? This person thought enough of me to reach out. Why would I just hit the “Accept” button without taking the time to thank her for her thoughtful words with a short note of my own?
Now guess which invitation I don’t intend to respond to. Judging by how little effort he put into the request, I don’t think I’ll hurt this person’s feelings in the least. He clearly has little interest in really wanting me to be a part of his LinkedIn family.
To me, it’s just common courtesy. Whether I’m reaching out to someone, or responding to someone who is reaching out to me, I hope I’m never too busy to extend a small amount of common courtesy to those who make the effort. So let’s make it official;
Dear Linda,
Thanks for the requests to linkup. It’s a pleasure to accept your invitation. Thank you so much for the kind words. Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you.
Sincerely,
Rob
Rob – This is a pet peeve of mine, too. One of the challenges, however, is that we often use our mobile devices to connect to someone on LinkeIn. Some of the tools that LinkedIn provides do not give you the opportunity to add more of a message. Take this morning, I was on LinkedIn accepting invitations. LinkedIn asked if I knew someone. Before I knew it, the system had sent a generic message.
The key is that we have to consciously take the path that requires more work. Using the button “Connect” on LinkedIn simply sends the generic message. If you don’t realize that, then you can send a horrible invitation.
Thanks for raising the point.
I think that’s what happened to me, too. I’m a LinkedIn neophyte and didn’t know I had the option to send a personalized note.
Rob,
Interesting article. I am actually guilty of the latter example. I thought that was proper protocol. However, when I see “Kindest regards” in the signature, I am tempted to punt the invite. Why? Improper business letter writing. Kindest regards is too informal and insincere. Also, it suggests someone is young. It tells me that this individual is an Olympic champion at texting, but probably uses ‘like’ as an improper colloquial adverb in their sales pitch. Thank God for your sales training! Sincerely is how you end a business letter or email. I am not surprised by informal signatures since English relativism is taught in schools today and business letter writing is something you would find in history books. Just my thoughts.
Sincerely,
Brian Danahy
Never thought about this…thank you!
Good post, Rob. And Ian’s comment is on the mark as well — sometimes the client being used makes too many decisions for us. 🙂
Great article, Rob. I enjoyed reading it. I like to reach out to people I work with through LinkedIn, as well, yet sometimes Li only allows for a generic invite to be sent. And sometimes I don’t even see an invite sent at all. :/ I just hope the person remembers me. But, yes, it is nice to go the extra mile. 🙂 Keep up the good work!
Unfortunately, Rob – I don’t do any of this “Social Networkig Stuff”! Shame on me, I guess. Maybe I’m wrong – but I always thought it was ‘something to do’ – for folks who were a little bored, and were looking for a way to ‘spice up’ their lives with ‘something to do’ – to create a little ‘excitement’ in their lives!
However – the fact that I keep respomding to your extremely interesting BLArticles – indicates that, in reality, I AM ‘social networking’!
Also – I AM an email ‘nut’ – sending and receiving hundreds of emails – on a regular basis!!! I guess that IS ‘Social Networking’ – isn’t it?
John M.
“C.T.”
Wow, excellent point that I really didn’t take the time to consider until you wrote about it. I unconsciously DO put a personal note for most folks I don’t know well to break the ice, but it didn’t occur to me to put a little personal touch when I link to somebody I already work with. I mean, how hard is that?! Thanks for the insight!
Rob – can’t agree more, especially now that I am trying to connect with people it’s important to be sincere about the connection and show that the connection is a two way street, not just getting another connection. You want to help people who are sincere.
Rob – interesting article as always. With some of the generic invites, I sometimes reply without accepting the invitation just to see how and where we met before. I get a surprisingly high number of non-responses to my reply to the generic invites so naturally just ignore the invite.
Keep doing what you do! David O.
Socializing in a relatively new medium, has made people forget the manners their mothers taught them. When they stop thinking of it as “The Internet” and start thinking of it as “real life” (WHICH IT IS) they will remember their manners.
I just realized that my comment is a lot grumpier and stodgier sounding than the other comments. Oh well.
Rob, Great Article! I totally agree. I always add a note to let the person know why I want to connect and how we might add value to one another. I hope readers take your excellent advice.