Long ago, do you remember when you first heard your own voice? Maybe it was a tape recording, or on a DVD, or a video, but most of us will remember that day. Do you know why? The answer is because that was the day we decided we despised the way we sounded. Strangely enough, everyone else we heard that day sounded just fine; just not us. When it comes to embracing the way we actually sound, we were, and for most of us, still are, our own worst enemy. Here’s a bulletin:
Nobody likes the way his or her own voice sounds!
Should that give you comfort? Perhaps, because you’re certainly not alone, but that’s not good enough. We need to do something about these negative thoughts once and for all, and I’m ready to give it a try.
I remember the first time I heard my voice. It was in a school play and the director had us all together in the choir room to listen to our performance. I was merrily listening along until my voice showed itself off. In a word, I was mortified. Everyone else sounded so, well, normal, and then there was my poor excuse for a voice. It was raspy, and it was nasally inserting itself into the performance like an unwelcomed house guest. I couldn’t understand how I didn’t know my voice was so different from all my other classmates, and for that matter, everyone else in the world. Why didn’t anyone tell me that the noise coming out of my mouth was so odd, and such a poor excuse for a voice?!
There was not one, but two reasons for my classmates’ silence. First of all, no one cared. Second of all, everyone was way too consumed with the shock and horror of hearing their own voice. If you want proof that no one but you really cares, think about the dozens of times after that first unpleasant experience when you mentioned how bad your voice sounded, and heard, “What are you talking about? Your voice sounds fine… it’s my voice that’s a trainwreck!” I think it’s safe to say we can agree on a couple of things:
- No one seems to like the sound of his or her voice.
- We couldn’t be more wrong in how we think about and speak about our one and only, poor, defenseless voices!
Part of the problem is coming from the fact that what we hear internally is a different sound than what we hear when it’s played back to us from another source. This creates confusion, and what we’re calling, “a poor excuse for a voice,” is actually just a different voice than what we expected.
The second part of the problem is the mistake we make when we confuse “different” with “inferior.” Yes; I’m actually now convinced my voice really is raspier than most. Coaching over fifty basketball and soccer teams, and close to 40 years as a professional speaker, will do that to a voice. But it’s my unique raspy voice, and now, I kind of like it. And yes, in fact, my voice does have a rather unusual nasal quality to it, but it’s my unique nasal voice, and again, I kind of like it.
Besides, what exactly is the alternative? Nothing. You can embrace that one and only voice of yours, or you can complain about it. Your voice won’t care, and other than becoming a bit more timid, your voice won’t change. Instead, why not truly go all in, and embrace it? Start by reminding yourself that no one can do a better imitation of your voice than you!
I already know your voice is great because there’s no other voice like it. If you just stop, and have a little more faith in that voice of yours, your voice will reward you with a more confident tone. If you truly believe in your voice, it will pay you back with more energy, bounce where it’s supposed to, slow down and speed up where it’s supposed to, and drop where it’s supposed to. I can promise you that it will be just perfect because it’s your very own, and that’s the way it’s supposed to sound. Embrace it and don’t question it again. Tell that internal voice of yours that keeps whining about that external voice that there’s a new sheriff in town. We’re not playing that, “I don’t like my voice” game anymore. Like lovely music, you’re now going to own whatever sound you’re making, and don’t question it, or try to change it. Your voice is making one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear: It’s the sound of authenticity.
What do you get when combine energy, enthusiasm… and great content? You get a “Pocket Sized Pep Talk!” Tune in and you’ll hear a collection of BLArticles®, conversations, and interviews that are sure to teach, motivate, inspire, and oh yes; entertain! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pocket-sized-pep-talks/id1497772972
I took a second spin on, “The Abundant Accountant” podcast, this time talking about how to handle objections regarding pricing and fees found here: https://theabundantaccountant.com/episode-96-how-to-stop-justifying-and-explaining-accounting-fees-with-rob-jolles
Before this last podcast, I appeared on, “The Abundant Accountant” podcast talking about Decision Cycles which can be found here: https://theabundantaccountant.com/episode-92-breaking-down-the-6-stages-of-the-client-decision-cycle-with-rob-jolles
I was also on, “It’s Not Rocket Science! Five Questions Over Coffee,” a fun podcast with Stuart Webb. You can listen to the podcast here: https://thecompleteapproach.substack.com/p/five-questions-over-coffee-with-rob#details
If you are looking for something to listen to on your next coffee break you might enjoy this brief chat between me and Tom Bailey, Founder of Succeed Through Speaking and the Succeed Through Speaking podcast. Listen closely if you would like some high value ideas to boost your business results.
You can read the transcript here – https://bit.ly/3BOfU7o
You can watch the podcast here – https://youtu.be/w-QgGvweE2M
You can listen to the podcast here – https://apple.co/2YVGWuN
I Zoomed my way to India to speak with Motivational Diaries, and Ashish Janiani. We spoke for about 30 minutes about sales processes and training for success.
Sales Process To Sales Success || Interview With Robert Jolles – YouTube
If you want to read some “Life Lessons” I was able to share in a recent interview, you’ll find them here: https://worldclassperformer.com/short-life-lessons-from-robert-jolles/
I had the pleasure of appearing on Robert Miller’s, Follow Your Dream Podcast and thoroughly enjoyed the discussion. We go way back in this conversation to my first memories of performance… at age four! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it! https://follow-your-dream.simplecast.com/episodes/rob-jolles-superstar-salesman
I also mixed it up with a wonderful podcaster, Terry McDougall on her Marketing Mambo show. As she puts it, we “Cha-cha-chatted!” If you want to hear sales and marketing go toe-to-toe, you’ll enjoy this show. https://www.buzzsprout.com/1569061/8172686-the-art-of-influence-in-sales-and-marketing-with-rob-jolles
I recently did a podcast with a wonderful, new, and up-and-coming star named Jahmaal Marshall. His podcast is called, “Listen Then Speak.” I’ve done a lot of podcasts, but we got into topics I rarely talk about, and I’m quite sure you’ll enjoy the show! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/listen-then-speak/id1550684472
I’ve appeared on the “Small Business Advocate Show” with Jim Blasingame for almost 20 years now, and you’ll find dozens of our conversations on his website. We just sat down a few weeks ago for a great conversation about selling fundamentals and the strategic use of stories. Here’s a link to over 100 interviews done over the years, including my most recent interview that explores our many behaviors we display that are based more on a default mechanism than actual logic. https://www.smallbusinessadvocate.com/small-business-experts/rob-jolles-134
We posted a video series on delivering amazing online presentations with my friend, Jeremy Webb. We go over some great stuff including:
- How to Select the Best Equipment for Online Presentations
- Pro Tips for Sustaining Interest in Online Presentations
- How to Look Like a Pro!
- Public Speaking Anxiety Tip
- Virtual Office Setup for Online Presentations
You’ll find the whole playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRO7BsBDl6oL-6ZPW3O01x-g5PiR38ljL
I was recently interviewed on the “Salesman Podcast,” which was a lot of fun. If you’re looking to Change Minds, check out this podcast: https://www.salesman.org/the-simple-step-by-step-process-to-influence-anyone-with-rob-jolles/
I loved talking about the book, Why People Don’t Believe You on a podcast that I’m sure you’ll like called Onward Nation: https://predictiveroi.com/podcasts/rob-jolles/
After 30+ years as a professional speaker and trainer, one of the most common questions I get is this: “How do we make sure the training sticks?” Take a moment and listen to this podcast; “SalesChats” with John Golden. If you want to know why most training fails, listen up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR3dDOlTK7U&list=FLxBXKhqz0xBwbUPMqNthAJA&index=2&t=1293s
Excellent article and one to which I suspect we can all relate. For some reason I kept thinking of the boy talking into the fan.
I remember the joy of discovering the changes a fan would make to my voice as a kid. Funny thing is, that voice never bothered me!
In the first grade, I wondered whether others could hear my voice if I could not. So, I covered my ears with my hands, closed my eyes and screamed loudly as possible. When I opened my eyes, the entire class was staring at me with looks of shock and concern. I had definitively answered the question!
I’ll tell you why I love that story: I had the same thoughts as a very young child and dreamed of doing exactly what you did… I just never did it! I kind of thought what happened to you would happen. 🙂 Thanks for posting Phillip.
Excellent article Rob! It’s funny how your voice is usually part of what we love about another person but we’re so critical of it ourselves. Another’s voice is familiar and often calming or makes us smile. I think you hit it right on when you said our own voice is unfamiliar to us and sounds odd since it’s not what we expected. I enjoy your voice my friend!
Best wishes!!
The scary part is just how much this unfair criticism of our own voice can disrupt our confidence. That just has to sop. I know that voice of yours Bob, and in your field of work, that steady, confident voice is deeply appreciated by the patients you care for. Thanks so much for posting!
I sing at an open mic night once a week and this article helped me immensely!
Last week was the first time when I was really sounding good. Before I started, I was terrified (as usual) and almost chickened out because there were so many people at the Kava bar in San Diego. But I decided to push through and go deeper with my voice. What gave me more confidence was looking into the people’s eyes, something I never did before for more than a split second. Tomorrow night I will go in again and read this article right before… Wish me luck!
Great story and a hearty good luck!!