The other day, I was racing through the supermarket to pick up a few items. I jumped into a “12 Items or Less” line, and I came face-to-face with something that really makes me mad. There, in front of me, stood an individual with 48 items! (Yes, I counted them.) The individual looked like she didn’t have a care in the world…. but I cared. The others behind me cared. Sadly, the only person who looked like he didn’t care was the cashier. When it was finally my turn to check out, I couldn’t help but ask the question, “Why didn’t you say something?” The answer was predictable; “I didn’t want to upset the customer.”
He was right. He didn’t upset the customer who abused the rules. He upset all the other customers who adhered to them. It turns out that the theory behind not upsetting individuals who do not follow rules, and upsetting those who do follow the rules, plays out all the time.
- It plays out in the meetings and classes we attend. How many times have you hustled off to a program, leaving behind some pretty important things you had to do – only to find that the class wasn’t going to start on time because some people hadn’t arrived yet? In other words, you had to wait for those who didn’t think the rule of showing up on time pertained to them. With no leader willing to step forward and start the program on time, and with no one willing to confront those who were late, those who did obey the rules were punished for following them.
- It plays out on the deadlines we have to adhere to. How many times have you worked long hours to complete a project on time, and then you’ve been told the deadline was being extended to accommodate those who weren’t able to finish? With no leader willing to step forward and enforce the rules, those who obeyed the rules were punished for following them.
I don’t really blame those who are abusing the rules. I blame the leaders who establish those rules and fail to enforce them. Strangely enough, if you want to see an industry that usually gets this right, look at the airline industry. Most airlines put seating sections on their tickets because it rewards its frequent flyers. When is the last time you saw a gate agent let someone on before his or her seating number was called? There’s a reason for this: Frequent flyers will call out customers and gate agents if those rules aren’t followed. I’ve watched this happen, and it wasn’t pretty. When customers step in to reinforce the rules that businesses establish but fail to enforce, it’s never pretty.
When you are in a leadership role, and you have others that are not following the rules you establish, you really don’t have a choice. Pretending not to notice the problem is not a choice. Choosing not to say something is not a smart choice. Taking a leadership role, and following through on the rules you establish is your only choice. If it’s a meeting, start on time and reward those who followed your rules. If it’s a meeting or training program, don’t wait around for others who did not follow your rules; reward those who did as you asked. If it’s a deadline, abide by that deadline, and reward those who were able to meet it.
By setting up rules, and then enforcing those rules, you are teaching those around you that your rules are not meant to be broken, and you’re making a lot of people happy while doing it. For those who don’t follow the rules, they may not be quite as happy but they’ll learn that there are consequences for their actions. A better world for everyone, don’t you agree?
Great point! Well stated! Probably has affected us all at one time. Based on my observation-many younger parents could benefit from being more consistent with their parenting rules and regulations as well. Certainly a point of interest/conversation that covers a lot of genres.
Great comment to s great article. Learning that there are consequences for not following the rules begins as a toddler at home.
I can’t tell you how many times that has happened to me. I have been grumbling under my breath. BUT NO MORE! It’s so simple to explain the numbers just don’t work when a small portion of any group is allowed to cause everyone else so much vexation.
Thanks for sharing this situation that all of us know all too well and the simple remedy.
Unfortunately, we have all been subjected to it, a small example of our culture, which is becoming more course every day; the sovereignty of the self. Maybe this has lessened, but observe the different line courtesy, at a bus/train station in Asia; the Chinese, not all, esp. women with umbrellas, are in a fight to the death; the Japanese simply get in line. Quite attractive.
Just thinking of a situation where I was on a course where the rules and deadlines were quite strict. The tutor while being quite strict about rules and deadlines did not always produce the right notes on time and I felt I had to research information that was not covered. So while I agree in principle, it has to b the same rules for those dishing them out and that’s not always the case.
A great, albeit sensitive topic Rob. We have seen this tendency first hand, the slippage into the unacceptable when simple rules of conduct are not enforced. Often times it falls upon those around the offender to remind the offender of the rules. Thank you for sharing !
Kent.
Great article Rob! I see this not only transpire in public and business but certainly at home with our 5 children. Establishing these boundaries for our children is critical to show them the importance of respecting and following the rules always so that they grow up to do the same. It is easy to think that one small broken rule doesn’t matter, but What are our children or employees or customers learning from this example.
I’m not certain of it, but I believe that workers in a retail environment don’t enforce rules like the number of items in a cart or line-jumping because they are not given any power, and they may even be told to ignore lousy customer behavior. If the cashier calls a customer out or refuses to serve the customer, he/she may earn the gratitude of the other customers in line, but the jerk customer will tell all his friends that X Market was rude to him while diminishing the count of 48 items to 13, and X Market will get the black eye in that circle. The rest of us will tend to blame the jerk and let X Market off the hook. The airline workers are in a position of strength: they can deny a customer boarding altogether and have the airline and federal law backing them up if we don’t obey. Also, the airlines have already set the tone by charging us to check our bags and insisting that carry-ons fit in that little frame by the desk — not to mention the near-strip search to get to the gate in the first place. I suppose the solution is for retailers to make it as difficult to get into the store as it is to get to the airline gate — but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.
Surely, these situations occurred in the stores, work places and elsewhere in life. Excellent point for the leadership role! On the other hand, the lesson is for everyone – be observant and thoughtful, even if when there is no a fixed or clear rule.
Meetings that do not begin (and end) on time undermine the culture and integrity of an organization. This seemingly small thing is, in fact, a very BIG thing. And it all begins with the leaders, as you say, Rob.