Sunday was my Dad’s birthday; he would have been 99 years old. He passed away some years ago, maybe ten, maybe in April. I couldn’t tell you the exact day, month, or year because I made a conscious choice to forget that date as fast as I could. It’s a date I have no interest in remembering because it only brings up sadness, and I’m quite sure if he were still here, he’d prefer we not dwell on that date. Now, his birthday is a whole different matter. His birthday was, and still is, a day to celebrate, and doing just that reminded me of the best gift I ever gave him – and it was a gift for me as well.
When my Dad turned 83, I wanted to do something special for him. After much thought, I decided on what I felt was a rather ambitious project. I decided to step back and make a list of things he did, both large and small, that affected both me and the world he lived in. I called these things his “marks.” It seemed like a tall order, because I wanted to record 83 different marks; one for each year of his life.
So, as a birthday gift for my Dad, I went on a mental journey, and thought long and hard about my Dad. I allowed my mind to think about anything and everything because I thought capturing 83 significant marks might be challenging. It turned out that finding his marks was easier than I had thought because Lee Jolles had a life well lived. When I sat alone and began to write, the list of his marks came effortlessly. Many of the memories that were flowing through my mind were opening my mind to other memories I hadn’t thought about in a long, long time.
Just like any classic brainstorming session, after allowing my thoughts to expand, my second move was to contract the list I had created. I looked for duplicate marks, and memories that eclipsed other marks. Finally, I tried to place the marks I had recorded in a logical order. Some marks seemed to naturally group together, while others seemed to be better positioned in a chronological order. I began to realized that, unlike a poem or a story, the order isn’t as important as you might think. The mark is what matters most; not the order.
The fact is, each of us leaves marks. The problem is, we often aren’t aware of the many marks we leave. Others around us are usually far more aware of these marks than we are, but we rarely share them with the ones we love until it’s too late. I delivered my Dad’s eulogy, but he never heard it. This, he heard. He wasn’t an easy man to buy gifts for, and he wasn’t very emotional. When he received this particular gift, he didn’t just hear it and like it; he actually had to turn away from me to hide his tears when he read it. It was an odd moment for us both, because I had already turned away when he was reading it to hide my tears. (See mark #81 below.) Until his passing, it remained up on the wall in his den, where he sat often, and talked about different parts of it with me now and then.
I struggled with the thought of putting this in a BLArticle®. I decided to do it because I felt it might help persuade you to consider giving the gift of marks to someone you love. Don’t wait until it’s too late; sit down, and take this journey. When you give this gift to your loved one, I can assure you, it will be a gift they will never forget. It will be a something you will never forget either, because you’ll be creating a gift you’ll inadvertently be giving yourself. Having just looked at the marks I recorded for my Dad, and with the proof of a tear in my eye as I write this, you will feel warm, strong emotions each and every time you read through your creation.
I sure do miss my Dad, but those marks of his that we both got to enjoy together, allow me to remember him, and his marks, in the very best of light. It allows me to feel gratitude, rather than loss. There really isn’t an argument against the idea of examining and sharing a loved one’s marks. It’s up to you to make it happen.
Now, I’d like to share with you the list I wrote for my Dad…
Your Many Marks
As told by your son, Rob
- You fought for your country – multiple times.
- You taught me what courage is.
- You taught me what it meant to be a “Grunt.”
- You put me through college.
- You invested in my future.
- You encouraged me to follow my dreams.
- You taught me how to lead.
- You taught me how to follow.
- You called me “Broadway Rob.”
- You taught me about snakes.
- You taught me how to hold snakes.
- You taught me to care for all animals as I watched you care for horses, monkeys, fish, snakes, hamsters, birds, dogs, and cats.
- You saved stray cats.
- You saved stray dogs.
- You saved a dog from drowning.
- You saved my dog Brandy.
- You taught me compassion.
- You taught me how to zip a fly, and tie a tie.
- You taught me how to paint a house.
- You taught me how to mow a lawn.
- You taught me how to clean a pool.
- You taught me how to clean a room.
- You led not one, but two scout troops.
- You taught me “team methods” in knot tying.
- You taught me how to pitch a tent.
- You taught me how to make a fire.
- You taught me how to make “Panther Stew.”
- You taught me how to lash three poles together with my friends… in under 35 seconds.
- You sent me to Philmont, New Mexico.
- You taught me, “rank has its privileges, and rank has its responsibilities.”
- You taught me the importance of scouting.
- You taught men the importance of scouting.
- You taught me not to go on and do it, but come on and do it.
- You taught me a “Can-Do” spirit.
- You created “Can-Do” patches for our troop to wear on our arms in case we forgot.
- You worked for years to feed the hungry.
- You worked for years to cloth the needy.
- You gave from your pocket to make less fortunate children smile.
- You worked for much of your life to help the blind to see.
- You tutored me in business.
- You taught me how to sell.
- You taught me, “a deal is a deal… even if you no longer like that deal.”
- You taught me about integrity.
- You taught me how to eat a crab.
- You taught me how to eat a steak.
- You taught me how to cook a hamburger.
- You taught me the difference between peanuts and Spanish peanuts.
- You taught me how to hide peanuts.
- You taught me how to eat a little too much.
- You taught me that the fortunate have a responsibility to help the less fortunate.
- You taught me to respect the environment.
- You taught me that we have a responsibility to protect the environment.
- You taught me to be a democrat.
- You taught me to try my hardest.
- You taught me to be a competitor.
- You taught me to take pride in my brown eyes.
- You taught me the value of friendship.
- You taught me it was okay to tell my father I love him every time I speak to him.
- You survived many operations.
- You survived a broken neck.
- You survived cancer.
- You patched up many of my cuts and bruises.
- You put butterfly stitches over my eye.
- You listened to me.
- You love my wife and children as I do.
- You said the one thing I needed to hear after our fire.
- You made your family more important than your work.
- You took me to Bermuda on a ship.
- You taught me how to be a man.
- You taught me how to be a father.
- You have always been there when I needed you.
- You came home early from work… often.
- You took me to see the Senators play baseball.
- You took me to see Frank Howard hit a homerun.
- You came to see me play baseball.
- You straightened my teeth.
- You bought me a post office jeep.
- You bought me a car.
- You taught me how to tell a joke.
- You taught me how to tell a story.
- You taught me that men don’t cry, but then you allowed me to cry without feeling ashamed.
- You made me proud to tell others, “That’s my dad”
- You made me proud to be called, “Lee’s son.”
And one to grow on…
- You are the only one to ever call me, “Rotsick,” a name I always loved.
What do you get when combine energy, enthusiasm… and great content? You get a “Pocket Sized Pep Talk!” Tune in and you’ll hear a collection of BLArticles®, conversations, and interviews that are sure to teach, motivate, inspire, and oh yes; entertain! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pocket-sized-pep-talks/id1497772972
I took a second spin on, “The Abundant Accountant” podcast, this time talking about how to handle objections regarding pricing and fees found here: https://theabundantaccountant.com/episode-96-how-to-stop-justifying-and-explaining-accounting-fees-with-rob-jolles
Before this last podcast, I appeared on, “The Abundant Accountant” podcast talking about Decision Cycles which can be found here: https://theabundantaccountant.com/episode-92-breaking-down-the-6-stages-of-the-client-decision-cycle-with-rob-jolles
I was also on, “It’s Not Rocket Science! Five Questions Over Coffee,” a fun podcast with Stuart Webb. You can listen to the podcast here: https://thecompleteapproach.substack.com/p/five-questions-over-coffee-with-rob#details
If you are looking for something to listen to on your next coffee break you might enjoy this brief chat between me and Tom Bailey, Founder of Succeed Through Speaking and the Succeed Through Speaking podcast. Listen closely if you would like some high value ideas to boost your business results.
You can read the transcript here – https://bit.ly/3BOfU7o
You can watch the podcast here – https://youtu.be/w-QgGvweE2M
You can listen to the podcast here – https://apple.co/2YVGWuN
I Zoomed my way to India to speak with Motivational Diaries, and Ashish Janiani. We spoke for about 30 minutes about sales processes and training for success.
Sales Process To Sales Success || Interview With Robert Jolles – YouTube
If you want to read some “Life Lessons” I was able to share in a recent interview, you’ll find them here: https://worldclassperformer.com/short-life-lessons-from-robert-jolles/
I had the pleasure of appearing on Robert Miller’s, Follow Your Dream Podcast and thoroughly enjoyed the discussion. We go way back in this conversation to my first memories of performance… at age four! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it! https://follow-your-dream.simplecast.com/episodes/rob-jolles-superstar-salesman
I also mixed it up with a wonderful podcaster, Terry McDougall on her Marketing Mambo show. As she puts it, we “Cha-cha-chatted!” If you want to hear sales and marketing go toe-to-toe, you’ll enjoy this show. https://www.buzzsprout.com/1569061/8172686-the-art-of-influence-in-sales-and-marketing-with-rob-jolles
I recently did a podcast with a wonderful, new, and up-and-coming star named Jahmaal Marshall. His podcast is called, “Listen Then Speak.” I’ve done a lot of podcasts, but we got into topics I rarely talk about, and I’m quite sure you’ll enjoy the show! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/listen-then-speak/id1550684472
I’ve appeared on the “Small Business Advocate Show” with Jim Blasingame for almost 20 years now, and you’ll find dozens of our conversations on his website. We just sat down a few weeks ago for a great conversation about selling fundamentals and the strategic use of stories. Here’s a link to over 100 interviews done over the years, including my most recent interview that explores our many behaviors we display that are based more on a default mechanism than actual logic. https://www.smallbusinessadvocate.com/small-business-experts/rob-jolles-134
We posted a video series on delivering amazing online presentations with my friend, Jeremy Webb. We go over some great stuff including:
- How to Select the Best Equipment for Online Presentations
- Pro Tips for Sustaining Interest in Online Presentations
- How to Look Like a Pro!
- Public Speaking Anxiety Tip
- Virtual Office Setup for Online Presentations
You’ll find the whole playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRO7BsBDl6oL-6ZPW3O01x-g5PiR38ljL
I was recently interviewed on the “Salesman Podcast,” which was a lot of fun. If you’re looking to Change Minds, check out this podcast: https://www.salesman.org/the-simple-step-by-step-process-to-influence-anyone-with-rob-jolles/
I loved talking about the book, Why People Don’t Believe You on a podcast that I’m sure you’ll like called Onward Nation: https://predictiveroi.com/podcasts/rob-jolles/
After 30+ years as a professional speaker and trainer, one of the most common questions I get is this: “How do we make sure the training sticks?” Take a moment and listen to this podcast; “SalesChats” with John Golden. If you want to know why most training fails, listen up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR3dDOlTK7U&list=FLxBXKhqz0xBwbUPMqNthAJA&index=2&t=1293s
Wow! I will probably be crying for at least three hours. This story is a wonderful reminder don’t wait until someone is gone to show your appreciation and thanks.
One of the things my dad taught me was to write three thank you notes everyday. The notes could be to friends, business peers, manager, staff, neighbors, etc. Everyday while commuting to the office I would think of who to thank from yesterday.
I think his advice was meant to keep me humble and a reminder that success is never a solo act.
So grateful you shared that story with us here. I’m not much of a thank you note person, but my father-in-law was, and after reading your story, I think I need to get on the bandwagon here. Thanks so much for posting Mark!
I loved this, Rob. Beautiful sentiments for a wonderful man.
I had the good fortune of meeting your Dad Wayne, and I think those two, (as were many from that generation,) cut from the same cloth. I appreciate the post Wayne.
Love this, Rob
Thank you so much Laurie. There are some amazing marks the amazing Zig left us all.
Thank you Rob. What a beautiful idea and a unique way to connect with those around us.
I may not to create a sequel some day because just writing this piece brought up a lot more marks! Thanks for posting Lorri.
Rob, I’m sure he is looking down from the heavens above upon you and your family and saying… You’ve done well!!
To this day I still think about my Dad and lo and behold He still puts a smile on my face.
I’d sure like to think so Brian. I’m glad it prompted a memory of your Dad, and like me, that memory sparks a smile. Thanks for posting.
Wonderful BLArticle Rob! Thanks for sharing as I know it’s quite personal to you. I am grateful that I got to learn a few of the items on your list from your dad. He was very special!
I did in fact go back and forth about posting this particular BLArticle® because of its somewhat intimate nature. I’m glad I did, and thrilled you liked it. A mark of your Dad’s that I’ll always remember is trying that strawberry moose he made for the POW’s coming to the White House. It was GREAT… and as you may recall, I don’t particularly like strawberries! Thanks for posting Bob.
your father impressed marks on many of us in ways that inspire us to continue with the “can do” spirit and with the highest intregrity
remember how to make “panther stew” warms my heart
thank you so much!
Glad you were able to connect to this John. For those who want to know what, “Panther Stew” is, when we were in Boy Scouts, my Dad was the scoutmaster. Panther stew was ground beef, vegetable soup, and a few spices laying around. On a campout, and hungry, that stew was amazing. Thanks for highlighting that one, and for posting John!