Some years ago my wife and I owned a Mercury Marquis that was one, interesting piece of work. It was a fine car, but we had it for quite some time, and over the years it developed some rather interesting, uh, habits. It had a rattle of some sort in the back wheel, but we got used to it. The dashboard light had a mind of its own and would come on and off on its own schedule, but we got used to it. It had a ding here, and some rust there, and the mileage wasn’t quite what we had in mind, but we got used to it. In fact there were a lot of nagging issues with this car, and we mumbled from time to time that we should probably get rid of it, but that was just idle chatter.
Then one day the car surprised us with a new interesting habit. Early one morning we drove to a friend’s house in a quiet little suburban neighborhood in Maryland and as we turned into the neighborhood the horn went off all by itself. As soon as we completed our turn into the neighborhood the horn stopped. Mortified, we continued on. A couple of blocks later we turned again, and again that horn with an apparent mind of its own went off again. Quickly, we completed the turn and it stopped again. As luck would have it we had to make at least four more turns, and each time we took a turn, that horn let all within ear shot know we were on their street.
When we finally reached our friend’s house and announced our arrival to the dozens of neighbors we no doubt woke up, we were clear on two things. First, we needed to cut the wire to that car horn. Second, we needed to say goodbye to this car. We had crossed that line in the sand between not liking something, and deciding to do something about it. We had made a commitment to change.
When it comes to making decisions, it’s clear that we go through repeatable, predictable stages. However, within this cycle there is one, significant, moment of truth that seems to be missed by many, and yet, is vital to those who seek to change minds. In a sense, it represents a line in the sand.
I am in no way a cynic, but I am a realist. These two things I know to be true:
- It is human nature to spend months, if not years, living with problems we are capable of fixing… but we just don’t. We wait until these problems become big problems, and change often comes too late.
- It is human nature to fear change, and that fear can be so blinding that we can’t see size and scope of problems until there is a difficult, if not devastating, scenario.
We live with these problems, we justify these problems, we whine about these problems, we sulk about these problems, we turn away and we even deny these problems exist. And then something happens.
That something can be as simple as a comment that catches us by surprise, and other times it can be as lethal as firing at work, but something happens. When that something happens we cross a line I’ve nicknamed, “The fix, don’t fix line” and in a sense, it is mythical line in the sand. When we cross that line, we don’t commit to a solution; we commit to a change.
- We can complain about an unfulfilling job for years. We’ve crossed that line in the sand when we have a resume redone and begun networking
- We can complain about an unfulfilling relationship for years. We’ve crossed that line in the sand when we find ourselves a therapist and set an appointment.
- We can complain about a car that has too many miles on it. We’ve crossed that line in the sand when we find ourselves pulling into a dealership.
There are moments of truth in all our lives. These moments of truth frequently initiate change. Personally, I’d rather help someone avoid a catastrophe, then help someone clean one up, and that’s why this line in the sand is so important to me. Understanding this line helps to remind me how important it is to help others navigate this line. It’s not unusual to struggle with change; we all do. What is unusual is for people, on their own, to fix these problems before it’s too late.
Another great Blarticle Rob! You always keep me thinking. Thank god I haven’t had too many life changing lines in the sand. Marriage is great..just celebrated 25 years! This is the 30th year for my business. But I have had many, many lines that I have waited to long to cross! The latest one came yesterday and I was going to blow it off for the 20th time until I read your Blarticle.
I have a TV in my office on the wall and I have been paying Comcast over a year for their service. The problem is, that the box doesn’t work. I’m tecnhilogicaly challenged and it ould be someting else, but the point is that I have had the same response every few months when there is some huge reason that I decide to tune in. Yesterday, I grabbed the remote from my desk and pointed it at the wall for the 20th time and, don’t ask me why I was surprised, but all I saw and heard was fuzz and static. I put it down, got pissed, said a few choice words and blew it off. The result: I was probably the last to know that the Harrison twins chose Kentucky over Maryland!
Now you have me fired up, I am going to open my window and put my head out and yell— “I’m not going to take it anymore!”.
Rob, another great insight, particularly important for those of us who sell premium services. I am going to incorporate your two ‘truths’ into my process.Thanks!
The “line in the sand”, for a lot of us, often comes down to money. Your example of the car is a case in point, Rob. In these days and times, finacial issues within your own household are at critical mass – ” Do I get a new car or can I limp around on the old banger for a bit, while paying for my childrens’college education?” “Do I send out resumes NOW? When no one is hiring? How can I leave NOW? No NONE IS HIRING!”
Robert, this is a true statement:
“It is human nature to spend months, if not years, living with problems we are capable of fixing… but we just don’t. We wait until these problems become big problems, and change often comes too late.”
But right now, in October 2012, most of us just don’t have that luxury of months, let alone YEARS, to get our own fiscal house in order. Decisions have to be made, and made intelligently. Complaining sure helps to lighten the emotional weight, but the bills still come. So: your advice in action – Confront your hurdles,whether emotional,finacial or job-related. Go forward in making a change. THEN – cross the bridge, take the chance if you can, but if you CAN’T right now….plan for it. It is hard times for the entire USA community…but we will get back, ya know. We ALWAYS do!
Great Blarticle. Another refreshment for us in the sales profession. I need these Blarticles to help me assist in my daily sales activities and as long as I am in this business. By the way sir Rob, i just lent the Latest Issue of your book Customer Centered Selling to my Team Leader(which I purchased a week ago so to complete my collection of the book). He will be competing in the Mitsubishi Philippines National Skills Olympics this October (one of the final tests to win is to sell a particular product to a customer) and they were being “sales-trained” nor “product-trained” for the said competition. I told him some of the highlights of the book to give him an idea, i said it really works well especially this “Customer Decision Cycle”. I’m absolutely confident this might improve his selling skills and in some other way complement his other skills to get him to winning that competition.
Great blarticle. One of my big beliefs is that things can change in an instant but we need to keep working hard to get to that instant and be conscious of when it arrives.
Rob – love your ‘line in the sand’ Blarticle!
Hate to get ‘political’….but……
Come November, we Americans will have to draw ‘a line in the sand’, with our 2012 Presidential election! It’s a great responsibility!
Do we continue on with the Obama Administration – and all of our current problems – but with ‘hope for the future – as we try to ‘move forward’ – and get our country back on the ‘right track’ again!
Or do we make a ‘sharp right turn’ – and try to move in a new and different direction – with the challenger, Mitt Romney, as our hopeful choice!
Probably one of the most important Presidential elections we’ve ever had!
This what I call a REAL ‘Line in the Sand’!
May the ALmighty bless our country – and help us make the ‘right decision’!
Don’t forget to vote!!!
JM
“C.T.”