You can learn a lot from an artist. I should know; I happen to be married to one. For instance, have you ever watched an artist look at his or her own piece of art? Part of the evaluation of that piece of art takes place by just looking hard at it, or walking by it. You might be very surprised to know what my wife considers her two favorite ways to evaluate her work.
One of the ways she evaluates what she’s working on is to go is to the biggest mirror we have in our house. She’ll hold her piece of art up for a long time, and if you watch her when she’s doing it, as she scrunches up her face, you’ll swear she’s seeing that piece of art for the first time. In fact, from the perspective that the mirror provides, she is. She sees the image in reverse, so she sees the composition in an entirely new way. It gives her objectivity and the ability to see the artwork with fresh eyes.
The second place she’ll often go is to her camera. She’ll shoot a few pictures of her artwork, and either print them out or look at the image on her camera. You’d think that a picture of a picture would not be of much value, but she swears she can see things that her existing perspective just doesn’t provide.
The challenge she is working through is a problem that many artists struggle with; it’s difficult for an artist to see his or her own work as others see it. The mirror and the camera are two classic ways to manage this situation. Those of us who aren’t artists also have to learn how to manage a similar situation; each one of us struggles with it and in order to evolve, we must come to grips with it:
Most people are unable to see themselves as others see them.
This is not just a minor blind spot; it can represent a challenge that can significantly impact our path to success. Without an alternate perspective, like an artist, it’s nearly impossible to see things that others see. When I conducted two–week training programs for Xerox, the trainees would be videotaped roleplaying sales calls every single day. The process each student would follow was detailed, and measurable. As an instructor, I would meticulously go over every process behavior modeled.
I made a point to make little to no comments about personal style issues such as appearance, gestures, and facial expressions. That was because each night, every student’s homework assignment was to evaluate his or her performance and provide written feedback in the morning. Watching those videos allowed them to gain a different perspective on how they looked and acted. It was feedback that was every bit as powerful as the feedback they were receiving from their professional trainers. To this day, is it any wonder that I use that tool when I’m working with smaller groups or coaching individuals? I bring out the iPad and I film the role-plays or presentations, and I make those videos immediately available to my students. I want them to see themselves as others see them; not just in the way they see themselves.
When you’re working with people and you’re helping them to see themselves as other do, it is critical to remember that this “evaluation” must be conducted in a balanced way. You must make sure that your feedback is not just stressing what someone is doing incorrectly. The piece that most are unable to see themselves can often represent something powerful and wonderful. It may be human nature to want to focus on negative feedback, but positive observations are critical as well. If someone is unaware of something powerful they are unable to see in themselves, but others see, that strength can easily be lost.
It is difficult, if not impossible, to see yourself as others do. The only way you can accomplish this is by stepping out of the box a bit. Maybe it’s a mirror, a picture, a video, or a trusted friend, but we cannot trust our personal instincts alone. When you truly see yourself as others see you, you can make some of the greatest strides imaginable. One of those amazing strides is to chip away at self-doubt which impacts one more challenge so many of us struggle with; the simple act of believing in ourselves.
Wow, from now on, I will record myself and try to identify my strengths and weaknesses… i never saw it from this perspective.., Thank you Rob! and by the way, Happy Birthy!;)
Thank you Matheus!
Rob,
I should thank you more often for these BLArticles, so please consider this a catch-up. You’ve done an excellent job putting this great lesson in such an easy-to-consume and memorable way. You should do this for a living!!
~Mike
I’ve dabbled with the idea… Thanks for the sentiments and the post!
Rob,
Another excellent lesson on how to live a more fulfilled life…..both in your work and family life.
Bill
Well said Bill. I suppose the path our children take gives us a hint of how we’re doing.
Great piece. I’ve recently completed a 360 survey of people I deal with frequently and how I’m viewed was way off from how I thought I was being viewed, in a good way. The IES cannot wait for your program on May 18 at the Westwood Country Club.
I could have told you how you’re doing! It was a privilege and a pleasure to present for the IES on May 18th. We had some fun didn’t we.
Hi Rob,
Thanks for another Jolles nugget.! I’ve actually been thinking of printing one of my collages onto a black t-shirt—another way of bringing it alive and getting public feedback besides my own perspective of the art-in-action. Your wife’s observation of her own work in different media and perspectives inspires me to further critically review my own pieces.
On the spoken/presentation front, I’ve seen myself in two videos and know I have a lot to learn!
thanks Rob!
Najwa
Just remember when you see yourself in those videos to balance that feedback and don’t be too hard on yourself. Two things you’re doing well, and two things you’d like to improve. Thanks for the post Najwa.
I loved this article…perception. Looking at art using various elements, tools and using videos for taping presentations and allowing students to give themselves feedback! “It may be human nature to want to focus on negative feedback, but positive observations are critical as well. If someone is unaware of something powerful they are unable to see in themselves, but others see, that strength can easily be lost”
i recently video taped my dad playing the harmonica. He is 85, has FTL dementia and congestive heart failure. He still has enough wind to play many tunes that he learned on his own during his life time. When I showed him the video once…he looked, listened and said is that me? He smiled when he realized it was. I played it back two more times. Second time brought a wider smile and the last brought a tear to his eyes. I don’t think he ever saw himself on video. It was indeed a great moment for my dad! I think this article reflects many things. Thanks Rob for sharing! Michelle
First, I think your caught the most important piece of that BLArticle® in the quote you highlighted. Second, I was touched by the story you told of your father. If my father was still alive I’d like to think I would have provided him the same gift you gave your dad. Thank you so much for sharing that with me Michelle.
Happy Birthday Rob!
What an amazing and insightful BLArticle®! Enjoy your day. Enid
I sure did enjoy that day! Thanks for reading and posting Enid!
Rob,
This is very powerful – please thank Ronni for the inspiration. This is another illustration on why I have found sellers and buyers of real estate benefit from a professional consulting and advising the client through the process.
Best,
Karen Briscoe
Well, whatever you’re doing keep doing it Karen. Being one of the top realtors in the state of Virginia is no accident! Thanks for posting.
Where’s the event on May 18th? Please provide details.
I’ve got a hotlink on that announcement at the bottom of the BLArticle® that will tell you where, when, how, and more! But, just in case, here’s the link: https://i4esbd.com/event/special_morning_robjolles/