The other day, I was watching a television show with my wife and a commercial came on.  It showed some little girls playing with their dolls, and I noticed my wife, who typically dislikes commercials, was smiling.  When I asked her about it, I was surprised at her response.  She wasn’t thinking about the times our girls played with their dolls; she was thinking about the times she played with her dolls.  The games she played involved a lot of pretending, a lot of sweet role-playing, and a lot of happy outcomes.

When I was a young father, I was invited to “play dolls” with our girls. I had to be taught exactly what that meant. I learned that playing with dolls meant play-acting and innocently exploring so much of what life had to offer.  Sometimes it meant getting married, or being with friends, or going on a date, or so much more. However, one thing was consistent; whatever plot line was being explored, you got to control the narrative. 

The interesting thing I learned is that controlling the narrative meant the outcome was always what you wanted to have happen. It was never finished with the outcome you were afraid might happen.  This form of pretending is fairly consistent.  You never pretended to be left at the altar, or betrayed by your friends, or failed to achieve your dreams.  The good girl, or the good guy, always won in the end.  It was effortless, fun, and strangely satisfying.  

This form of pretending is in no way limited to dolls, or girls; it’s whatever you want to pretend.  When I was young, I didn’t pretend with dolls… although I did go through a two-month GI Joe phase.  My imagination was aimed at sports, and I would pretend I was a professional athlete playing in the NBA.  I controlled the narrative, and I was a point guard for the Washington Bullets.  To help drive this fantasy, I had a hat rim wedged into the top of my bedroom door, and shot at it for hours a day with sox I made into a ball. Nerf hadn’t invented a hoop yet, and when they did, I applied a full court press on my parents begging them to buy me one.  Whether I was playing with a hat rim or a Nerf hoop, one of my favorite narratives involved me taking the final shot to win the world championship for the Bullets, or NCAA Championship for the Maryland Terps. Coincidently, I never missed that final shot.

Of course, none of this is surprising or coincidental.  It was a healthy part of growing up.  But when was it we stopped pretending?  More importantly, why did we stop pretending? It seems we gave up on controlling the narrative of our dreams because we were told that growing up meant not pretending. I would like to argue that the only one we hurt was ourselves when we stopped creating and believing in our own dreams. I think there’s a lot of pretending we can do that won’t hurt a soul, and might actually be good for us.  What’s wrong with controlling the narrative of these dreams, and imagining what we want to have happen versus what we fear might happen? Let’s look at a few scenarios:

• You can imagine a highly a successful interview you are about to go on.  Remember, you get to control the narrative, and in the spirit of our youth, there’s absolutely no way that dream would be anything but seeing yourself succeed in that interview. 
• You can imagine being a valuable member of a team, and being successful in your job. It’s your narrative, so you get to map out what would be required to achieve that level of success. You can imagine that you do reach that level of success. 

I can’t promise you that by controlling the narrative of your dreams, and imagining successful outcomes to those dreams, you will be guaranteed success.  What I can promise is that this kind of thinking will absolutely increase your chances of gaining the success you desire.  That’s because allowing yourself to imagine positive outcomes will reduce tension and help you to project a positive, confident image.  Last time I checked, those particular traits were extremely attractive to others.

So, dust off those dolls, those games, and those aspirations, because we’re never too old to dream. We did it effortlessly as children; let’s do it again.  However, when you do it now, feel free to add some real-life events.  Ask yourself this: “What can I do to make this dream a reality?”  Lest you think I don’t practice what I preach, I still have two nerf hoops that I shoot at on a daily basis, and I never miss the final shot.

Pocket Sized Pep Talks Podcast

What do you get when combine energy, enthusiasm… and great content?  You get a “Pocket Sized Pep Talk!”  Tune in and you’ll hear a collection of BLArticles®, conversations, and interviews that are sure to teach, motivate, inspire, and dare I say, entertain!   https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pocket-sized-pep-talks/id1497772972

I recently appeared on, “It’s Not Rocket Science! Five Questions Over Coffee,” a fun podcast with Stuart Webb.   You can listen to the podcast here:

• On Facebook facebook.com/INRSFQOC
• On Youtube – https://youtu.be/KJBK0dm-VaU
• On Linkedin – linkedin.com/posts/stuartwebb_a-sought-after-speaker-and-best-selling-author-activity-6858787689332920320-zhxC

If you are looking for something to listen to on your next coffee break you might enjoy this brief chat between me and Tom Bailey, Founder of Succeed Through Speaking and the Succeed Through Speaking podcast. Listen closely if you would like some high value ideas to boost your business results.

You can read the transcript here – https://bit.ly/3BOfU7o

You can watch the podcast here – https://youtu.be/w-QgGvweE2M

You can listen to the podcast here – https://apple.co/2YVGWuN

I Zoomed my way to India to speak with Motivational Diaries, and Ashish Janiani.  We spoke for about 30 minutes about sales processes and training for success. 

   Sales Process To Sales Success || Interview With Robert Jolles – YouTube

If you want to read some “Life Lessons” I was able to share in a recent interview, you’ll find them here:  https://worldclassperformer.com/short-life-lessons-from-robert-jolles/

I had the pleasure of appearing on Robert Miller’s, Follow Your Dream Podcast and thoroughly enjoyed the discussion.  We go way back in this conversation to my first memories of performance… at age four!  I’m sure you’ll enjoy it!  https://follow-your-dream.simplecast.com/episodes/rob-jolles-superstar-salesman

I also mixed it up with a wonderful podcaster, Terry McDougall on her Marketing Mambo show.  As she puts it, we “Cha-cha-chatted!”  If you want to hear sales and marketing go toe-to-toe, you’ll enjoy this show. https://www.buzzsprout.com/1569061/8172686-the-art-of-influence-in-sales-and-marketing-with-rob-jolles

I recently did a podcast with a wonderful, new, and up-and-coming star named Jahmaal Marshall.  His podcast is called, “Listen Then Speak.”  I’ve done a lot of podcasts, but we got into topics I rarely talk about, and I’m quite sure you’ll enjoy the show!  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/listen-then-speak/id1550684472

I’ve appeared on the “Small Business Advocate Show” with Jim Blasingame for almost 20 years now, and you’ll find dozens of our conversations on his website.  We just sat down a few weeks ago for a great conversation about selling fundamentals and the strategic use of stories.  Here’s a link to over 100 interviews done over the years, including my most recent interview that explores our many behaviors we display that are based more on a default mechanism than actual logic. https://www.smallbusinessadvocate.com/small-business-experts/rob-jolles-134

We posted a video series on delivering amazing online presentations with my friend, Jeremy Webb.  We go over some great stuff including:

• How to Select the Best Equipment for Online Presentations
• Pro Tips for Sustaining Interest in Online Presentations
• How to Look Like a Pro!
• Public Speaking Anxiety Tip
• Virtual Office Setup for Online Presentations

You’ll find the whole playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRO7BsBDl6oL-6ZPW3O01x-g5PiR38ljL

I was recently interviewed on the “Salesman Podcast,” which was a lot of fun. If you’re looking to Change Minds, check out this podcast: https://www.salesman.org/the-simple-step-by-step-process-to-influence-anyone-with-rob-jolles/

I loved talking about the book, Why People Don’t Believe You on a podcast that I’m sure you’ll like called Onward Nation: https://predictiveroi.com/podcasts/rob-jolles/

After 30+ years as a professional speaker and trainer, one of the most common questions I get is this: “How do we make sure the training sticks?”  Take a moment and listen to this podcast; “SalesChats” with John Golden.  If you want to know why most training fails, listen up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR3dDOlTK7U&list=FLxBXKhqz0xBwbUPMqNthAJA&index=2&t=1293s