Are you aware that most of us unconsciously call upon different voices, depending on the situation we find ourselves in? It starts at an early age, with something as simple as volume control. When you were little and you got a tad loud, you were reminded to use your “inside” voice.
The first time I can remember being aware of this multiple voice phenomena was when I starting flying a lot. I’d find myself having a pleasant conversation with a flight attendant, who seemed perfectly normal… until he or she picked up a microphone to make announcements. Then I’d hear some sort of weird, mechanical delivery that defied all logic. This bizarre, special “microphone-inflection” voice usually was delivered with a pitch, pace, and tone that sounded anything but authentic.
For some reason, the idea of making a public announcement seems to encourage that individual to use his or her mechanical, singsong “microphone-inflection” voice. No one ever walked up to me and spoke with that “microphone-inflection” voice before or after the microphone was in use. I think I actually got used to it. I guess someone must have convinced us that this dull and disingenuous voice is easier to understand. Perhaps.
But for many, our “inside” voice and our emotionless “microphone-inflection” voice make up only a part of our repertoire. It seems we have another insincere voice that likes to be heard. I call this voice our special “singsong-presenter” voice. This particular infliction is noted by an unusual rising and falling rhythm that sounds silly, and it can be dangerous for a presenter. This peculiar, oversimplified voice can sound condescending and lead an audience to believe that the presenter is talking down to them. Not good!
Audiences will forgive a lot of voices. They’ll forgive a “slightly-shaky-nervous” voice, or a “we-need-to-turn-up-the-microphone” voice, or even a “stern-in-charge” voice. However, this condescending “singsong-presenter” voice can distract on an audience, and in some situations, turn that audience against the speaker. So how do we change this potentially dangerous voice and keep you out of trouble? Two things:
- Remember. You don’t need to create a new voice because the voice you are looking for has been there all the time! The voice you are looking for is your “conversation” voice. This voice is the same pitch, pace, and tone you naturally use when talking with a few friends you feel comfortable with. Shocked? Don’t be. Just because you find yourself standing on a stage, other than slowing down just a tick, you don’t really need to change a thing. The audience wants to hear from you, the “conversation” you, not the “singsong-presenter” you. What’s more, when an audience feels like they’ve heard the genuine “conversation” you, they’ll bond faster and tighter with you than you can possibly imagine.
- Remember to Remember. Most presenters are unaware that he or she is using a different, “singsong-presenter” voice. In fact, it’s an unconscious behavior. Adjusting your voice to a more natural voice isn’t difficult to do, but it can be difficult to keep doing. To prevent you from slipping back into your other voice, simply place a note with the word “CONVERSATION” above any notes you may have on the lectern. Use a post-it or tape it down so it doesn’t move. This little reminder will give you a mental poke every time you sneak a peak at your notes, and will be all you’ll need to stay in your “conversation” voice.
Falling into the wrong voice, at the wrong time, and with the wrong audience, can make for a long day for you and for the audience. It’s not about trying to teach yourself to be someone you aren’t. It’s about remembering who you are, and how you sound when you’re with people you enjoy talking to. Mark Twain once said,
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
Using your “conversation” voice might initially take a prompt or two to remember when you’re giving a presentation, but in the end, it will be one of the easiest and most powerful fixes you can make. By using your natural “conversation” voice, you are just being truly authentic, and that’s what every speaker should be.
Another excellent BLArticle, Rob! The voice is critical – in whatever setting or venue. It’s key to projecting personality. And, interestingly, your voice is one of the few things that stays strong well into advanced ages (it may be the last thing to go!). Nice use of your own “real” voice in this BLArticle.
Well, when you’re born with a “nasal twang” as I call it, the good news is it doesn’t seem to change much! But as the BLArticle® says, that’s my own nasal twang conversation voice, and I’m going to keep using it. Thanks for the post Nick!
Great advice and certainly one that we all need to train ourselves to get better doing. I find when I am in a room, presenting to more than 20 people, I often need to remind myself to stop yelling. Even with a microphone in hand I find I yell to be heard….not too loud, but loud enough for me to think, “Hey, Sandler, stop yelling at these people.” Thanks for the great message Rob, as always. xo
Great point about that microphone. I always smile when I hear speakers proudly state they get in the rooms they are speaking in an hour beforehand. That’s enough time to make sure the LCD is working, along with handouts being in the room and get a good look at the stage. I’m in when the AV arrives, (which can be three hours before,) and one of the things I am meticulous about is checking the microphone, and checking where the feedback spots might be. Thanks for that post Doug!
The voice (conversational, natch) of reason from the master himself! Thanks, Rob.
Perhaps master of the obvious. But so often what’s right in front of us is the hardest to see. Thanks for the post Sarah!
Wonderful insight Rob, much appreciated. Look forward to discussing more, our inner, outer, and presentable voices – Great Stuff !
Kent.
That’s why I’m here! Your voice, pace and pitch really matter. Thanks for posting Kent.
Thanks, Rob!
Thanks for reading the BLArticle® Jon!
Great share! Even some of “the best” presenters lapse into this issue from time to time. A useful reminder, even to those presenting at a table, in a conference room, virtually.
Interesting that you mentioned presenting virtually. I felt comfortable in my regular “conversation” voice in all situations, but found myself forcing it a bit when I started doing podcasts, and virtual training. But I now get a little closer to the screen, and ask the moderators to raise the volume on my feed so I can stick with the natural voice. Thanks for posting Beth.
This is a really good (and perceptive) point Rob. Many thanks.
Dale
Well thank you sir! I’d like to tell you I figured this out when I started my professional speaking career, but it took a little while… like a decade. But this I know; our “conversation” voice is just what the audience wants to hear. Thanks for posting Dale!
This is an excellent piece, but it doesn’t cover the one word I heard constantly in my public speaking class 30+ years ago: “Project!” Do you have any advice for those of us who are naturally soft-spoken?
Great question. The reason you don’t hear it from me is because I am miked 99% of the time. When you are miked right, you really don’t need to project; the microphone does it for you. When you are in a small room you’ll need to push it a bit. One more suggestion from me would be rather than wear you and your voice out “Projecting!” you might want to try to get closer to your audience. Without a mike I’m assuming it will be a small one. Thanks for posting Bruce!
Rob, not sure this is precisely what you mean, but the one presentation voice that I find exceptionally annoying is the one where the presenter finishes every statement with a questioning intonation in their voice. I am hoping for confident statements, not a question as to whether or not the speaker believes him or herself each time.
Ohhhh, I know that voice well. Every sentence ends up. You aren’t the only one annoyed with that particular voice. Same fix – a post-it with the word, “CONVERSATION” so you can remember to remember. Sadly, that person you just described needs someone to bring this to his or her attention because it’s an unconscious incompetency. Thanks for posting Pat!
Rob,
Your reminder to keep an authentic voice is especially important in an image conscious world where we are tempted to adopt a television personality face and professional sounding demeanor when making a presentation. I love your remember-to-remember idea of keeping a post-it note with the word ‘conversation’ above your notes.
Carolyn
In my seven years of teaching Xerox instructors how to speak I can’t tell you how many post-its I went through! However, no speaker I worked with ever had more than one post-it on that lectern. As the saying goes, “Emphasize everything – emphasize nothing.” The idea is to fix one issue at a time. Thanks for posting Carolyn!
Perhaps, at the same time, we should alert presenters that Lavaliere microphones were made by men, for me,n with neckties! That knot on a necktie is the best placement for that mic. Men (and women) who place it on the lapels or even lower will have a hard time being heard. Great article
Well… I will tell you that most presenters, including this one, rarely speaks with a tie on anymore. But your point is well taken because we can still clip on to our button shirts, or sport coats. Solution: Ear clip mikes. As long as we’ve got our ears, we’re good to go! I always like hearing from you Eileen.
Thanks Rob.
This is a fascinating topic. There is developing a “vocal octave” thread in the leadership literature. The neuroscientists and cognitive psychologists have identified “inattentional deafness” which we are all more familiar with as “tuning out”. There seems to be an evolutionary biology holdover of this that can unintentionally result in women’s voices being literally unheard in critical or crisis meetings. Imagine our forbears involved in a conflict between two tribes. Locating children, women, men, enemy men, etc. by their screams and shouts has survival value, and may explain why, still today, the vocal ranges of these groups fall into recognizable registers.
We do not “need” this capacity the way we once did, however, we are all the descendants of those who mastered or benefited from this, and traces of it remain today, and may show up in crisis business meetings as in the example I gave.
I liked Pat Nolan’s comment. I believe he is referring to a relatively recent resurgence of a cultural phenomenon known, if I am following him correctly, as “high rising terminal”. It appears to be accompanied, particularly in the case of young women, perhaps as compensation or protection, by the “vocal fry”.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in a future BLArticle or other piece on some of these emergent phenomena and any advice you have for women and men (each case may differ somewhat) on how to avoid, or, perhaps occasionally use them, and, in particular, following Pat’s comment, what to do when you encounter them in business and social settings.
Thanks Rob–great topic. We always enjoy your voice, inflection, timing, humor and encouragement when you’re MC at CNM. When a voice coach addressed our group, she talked about the importance of being yourself and also using your full body to achieve resonance, bringing some power to your voice. This is an interesting dimension to the authentic factor. How to do both to sound confident and authentic and still sound comfortably, normally conversational?
On target comment Mike F. YES to the trend of the “high rising terminal” and “vocal fry”–both of which have become quite an annoying trend.
I’d like to learn more how to overcome the phenomenon that when a woman speaks up in a meeting, the guys in the room (who are often predominant when someone such as myself has been in a senior management role among a lot of former military guys) don’t really hear or listen. However, a guy can then follow up saying pretty much the same thing and receive an affirmative response or at least prompt a discussion. I’d like to be able to effectively forestall or address this which must require establishing a certain presence/posture/respect.
Recently, I attended a conference. A woman from DHS was giving a serious, highly substantive–but yes–a bit overly-detailed talk about immigration to a group of Syrians in a formal address. You’d think that particular audience would have been keen to hear DHS’s latest thinking on the topic. Instead, many continued having various conversations while she was speaking. I found this very disrespectful. She herself acknowledged their apparent boredom with her topic during her talk but forged ahead. Next up was a man whose comments were shallow, personalized and nothing new. In contrast to the woman before him who was quite plain, he was unusually tall, handsome and charismatic. He did not impart new information, nor was he a federal official. Yet, the predominantly male audience quieted down and mostly listened. Hmmm.
I might be the wrong person to speak to this question, but I’ll try. I’ve seen women speakers dominate their male counterparts in front of male audiences. They didn’t achieve this by being someone they are not. The achieved this by projecting confidence. Look at the last Republican debate and the performance of Carly Fiorina. Surrounded by some pretty high caliber politicians and speakers she dominated the stage. She was sure of herself, and her words. Control what you can control Najwa and you’ll be just fine. Thanks for the post!
About ten years ago I spoke in front of two audiences of all women. Each audience had about 100 in the audience. For the first audience I unconsciously changed my delivery voice to something a little softer that matched what I thought would be that of my audience. Big mistake. When you speak for a living it doesn’t take long to realize you are not connecting with an audience. My, “I-can-identify-with-you” voice was not authentic and this audience knew it. The tolerated me. Two hours later I spoke in front of the other 100 women, this time using my natural voice. Instant connection. To me, it’s all about getting to that authentic voice we have. Thanks for the post Mark!
Good article. It certainly makes a great deal of sense. If I may offer an additional thought, I would like to add that the speaker check out the microphone before one starts. Particularly the placement of the instrument and how close or how far one needs to be for the voice to be picked up clearly.
Great point Victor, and one that seems to be making its way into these comments. The right microphone positioned properly lets us stay in that ‘conversation” voice in front of any size audience. Thanks for the post Victor!
Real voice. How does a speaker go about discovering it? Where to begin?
Where to begin? You already did begin. You are a member of toastmasters and hopefully each time you speak you get valuable feedback from others. That, and finding someone you trust to give you honest and balanced feedback. Thanks for the post Edia!
Well, Rob — I’m so happy that you wrote about this! As a voice coach, I’m keenly aware that any changes people make in their voices need to spring from an authentic place. As I work with people to expand the range of vocal choices, we work to incorporate — and then expand — their stories about themselves. Thanks so much for the words of wisdom. And I missed being with you and the other Berrett-Koehler authors again this year. Blessings….
Whether it’s for singing, speaking, or even performing, It’s ironic that in the end, the best advice we can give another person, is to simply be yourself. I like hearing that you help people to find that authentic place. We missed you at the Berrett-Koehler Retreat. I hope to see you next year! Thanks so much for posting Barbara.