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January 23rd, 2023
Life doesn’t really get easier, we get stronger and more resilient… but just how resilient are you? Author, and hall of fame professional speaker Eileen McDargh sits down with Rob, discusses her book, Burnout to Breakthrough: Building Resilience to Refuel, Recharge and Reclaim What Matters, and provides an inspiring look at not just resiliency, but it closely connected cousin… hope. If you struggle with either, this episode is for you!
In this Pocket Sized Pep Talk, you’ll learn:
- Just how important resiliency is NOW!
- What started Eileen on this path?
- Actual process behaviors to address both resiliency and hope.
- An intimate look at Eileen’s personal resiliency journey.
- The impact the pandemic has had, and the necessity for resiliency.
- The vast variety of applications for this topic.
- One single piece of advice Eileen offers for all of us.
- What Eileen tells people who are afraid to hope.
For more information about this guest:
Rob Jolles (00:00):
Here’s a question for you. How resilient are you? Now I’m asking because I think we all figured out that life doesn’t really get easier, but we get stronger and more resilient. Let’s have ourselves a pockets size pep talk because you’re about to hear from one of the most positive and resilient people on this planet and buckle up because here comes a bundle of energy,
Intro (00:25):
A pocket-sized pep talk, the podcast that can help energize your business and your life with a quick inspiring message. Now, here’s your host, Rob Jolles.
Rob Jolles (00:38):
Today’s guest, Eileen McDargh, has been called a hope Merchant, a provocative presenter, by the way, speaker Hall of Fame, provocative presenter, and insists she’s on this earth for comic relief. I’ve witnessed that firsthand. All three ingredients are essential for cultivating the skills of resilience. She’s the author of seven books, including her newest book, burnout to Breakthrough Building, resilience to Refuel, recharge, and Reclaim What Matters. Glad to have you with us and welcome to the show, my friend Eileen
Eileen McDargh (01:09):
Yahoo, and it’s great to be here with you, Robert.
Rob Jolles (01:12):
Yes, it is, Robert. Well, we’re going to be formal. Eileen and I have known each other for about a decade now, but we’re going to pretend like we’re just now. We know each other. We’ve had some good times with each other, and I have to tell you, I’ve been looking forward to this podcast for a couple of months now as we finally got our calendars together and got this going. So I want to go and dive right into that book of yours. And it’s clear that resiliency has never been more essential than now, but you got a headstart, you’ve been tracking this for decades. You got a, and then comes a pandemic. What started you on this path?
Eileen McDargh (01:46):
Yeah, that’s a really interesting question because my field is in the field of communication. What is communication? Good communication, but the exchange of energy between two people, between an organization, it’s customers, it’s clients. And when we hit nine 11 for the United States, I all of a sudden watched us go, oh crap, what’s going to happen? And I began to say, how does resilience and communication come together? What is it that allowed us, at least at that point in time as a nation to move forward? So that began my study of resilience and what I discovered, the more I looked at it, was that resilience really is an energy exchange. That’s what it is, and what is energy, but the capacity to do work, and so in order to be resilient, how is it? What is it that gives me energy? What depletes my energy? How do I renew that resource? So really that’s where I started looking at it seriously and seeing what the connections were.
Rob Jolles (02:51):
Well, already I’m fascinated because you just hit on something that I’ve actually never spoken about. We know each other. We’re pretty positive people. I remember 9 11, as we all do, and I remember struggling with it because I’m a very hopeful half full person, and there was nothing to be half full about. And all of a sudden I went, oh my. So this is what it feels like to be, to lose a bit of hope. It challenges. So when those of us that are carrying half full people are losing that energy, that something’s up. But I remember that day because it was the first day where I couldn’t find the other side,
Eileen McDargh (03:37):
And I would agree with you. So hope is not this, oh, Pollyanna, oh, everything’s going to be fine and nice and neat. I think real hope is grounded in what I think of as intelligent optimism and what intelligent optimism says out of all of this horribleness, where is my point of control? So I had absolutely no control over all the stuff that happened at nine 11. I had clients who canceled because they didn’t want me on a plane. And I’m saying, but you need me more than ever. I don’t care. I’ll walk to you if I have to. Their attorney said, no, you have to stay home. So where was my point of control? This is going to sound weird, Rob, but I looked around and said, okay, what can I do? Number one, I’m going to get my body in shape. I hired a trainer, I started exercising. I looked around this office here and I said, okay, how can I get this in control? I began to reorganize my office, anything that gave me a sense of forward momentum. So in this case, it was physical, it was also intellectual as I waited to see where is it that I could be of assistance? So hope is not this blind Pollyanna thing at all. It really is saying, where is my point of control and what is it that I lead? What is it that you rob, have control over right now?
Rob Jolles (05:05):
And Eileen, I was kind of hope. I was hoping that you connect resiliency and hope, and I deal with hope people that when people are in career transition, and that’s one of my passions to help people who are struggling, they frequently lose hope. And I have certain things I try, but I I’d love to hear from you on this. What do you tell somebody who’s lost hope? Well, that’s a very serious issue.
Eileen McDargh (05:36):
It is. And with everything that’s going on right now mean, you started talking about how the pandemic, and we thought it would be short-lived and it’s going on and on, and now we’re seeing the respiratory side of that, of a virus. I think it’s be it is to ask the person, think back to a time in your life in which you thought you could not get through this, and you did. What’s interesting, Rob, everyone can go back and find one place. For me, it would be going through a divorce. It would be trying to move, which I had no job, I didn’t have a place to go, and I got through it. And you begin then to say, what is it that allowed you to go through that? Because that strength is still there. So we begin to call upon that strength. The other thing, I think when you say particular in career transition, which is that also passion of mine, the older I get, the more I know it’s behind, behind me than in front of me. So where is it that I want my contribution? So I’m in the place of exploration, just like the people in career transition, to begin to say, what is it that feeds my heart and my soul?
Rob Jolles (06:52):
Yeah, yeah. It’s very interesting when I’m dealing with people, and we we’re both speakers, so we know that a lot of times people will say, boy, I’d love to do what you do, but I get, how do you deal with when you’re anxious? And I actually, I say two words, track record, which is sort of what you’re describing right now. What usually happens, can you take your back, take yourself back to a time where you were on, where you were just killing it, where it was easy. So between that track record of what usually happens in these situations, oh yeah, the room doesn’t cave in on me. And just kind of staying on that path, it really helps me. And getting into that character, I, Eileen and I share something else. We both dabbled in acting, and you certainly know what method acting is. People don’t cry on stage because they’re poking themselves in the eye. The good actors are taking themselves someplace, right? Right. Yeah. So in a sense, if I’ve got you right, it’s kind of what you’re doing here. You’re having them as a method actor almost take themselves someplace. Do I have that right?
Eileen McDargh (08:02):
I, I’d love it that you used the word acting, because what that also brings up, to me, it’s another skillset is the skill of improvisation. And in the rules of improvisation, the first rule is the answer to what’s going on is yes, you accept what is given. You won’t say, no, no, no, no, no, that didn’t happen. No, no, no, no. You say yes, you accept what is given and then with what is real, then you say, okay, how do I choose to respond to this? And what’s interesting is sometimes one of the best ways to respond is to find, this is going to sound weird, but to find the funny in it, what makes you laugh? When I was caring for my mom in the last six years of her life and she had all kinds of physical ailments plus dementia, I would go in and one day she’s dying. Next day she’s not. One day she’s dying. So I called her, yo-yo ma, ah, yo-yo ma, up, down, up, down, up, down. It made me laugh. And she knew something was funny about that she would make, there were things that she would say that you just had to laugh. You couldn’t take as seriously. You just had to laugh. And so I think sometimes finding the bit of humor because what is humor, but perspective?
Rob Jolles (09:21):
Yeah. Yeah, that’s great. Particularly in the example you use there, staying on this and ST and staying on hope for just a second longer. And I promise I’ll move, but I’m fascinated with that topic because really I can’t think of anything worse than to lose hope. And so one of the things that I’ve told some of the people that I work with, because you’ll hear them say, I don’t want to get my hopes up. I don’t want hope too hard. And that breaks my heart. And a phrase that I use is I tell ’em, there is a penalty for hope. If you’re going to work with somebody, you can’t make up stories. You have to look ’em the eye and go, yeah, there’s a penalty for hope. It’s called disappointment. But so you may be wanting that job and you get your hopes up and you don’t get the job. Was it wrong to had your hopes up? Well, of course not. The penalty is disappointment. But look at the alternative. The alternative is to go through life or through challenges without hope. Let’s last on the job transition, but imagine going into an interview without hope.
(10:39)
We know for a fact that’s going to carry over in that energy you bring in and the sound that you’re making and the gestures you’re showing. So I just think it’s huge. And I love that you’ve got a book that’s tying into hope.
Eileen McDargh (10:53):
Well, it’s important. And there’s a wonderful saying. Hope is not certainty, it’s possibility.
Rob Jolles (11:02):
There you go.
Eileen McDargh (11:03):
And also, if I go into an interview with all of this, hope you can become too hungry, too needy. And that’s going to push people away too. So you have to say, there’s something here. And by the way, if one door closes, another door opens, and that a, that’s a, seems like a stupid thing to say, but go back and look in your life when something happened that you thought, oh, it didn’t work. Oh my gosh, it took me to a different place where I would never have gone before.
Rob Jolles (11:35):
Yeah. Oh, you’re right. Every entrepreneur I’ve met, every P person who actually transitions. I tell them, listen, when you buy me that cup of coffee and we sit down and we celebrate where you’re going, just remember that a mantra, one of the first things you’re going to say once you land is, boy, I wish I’d done this a little earlier, but while we’re in the throes of it, it can be challenging. But I want to talk, if I could want to talk about you for a second, because it’s interesting. Sometimes I look at authors and I go, well, why do they write that book? Or what makes them qualified to write that book? But for people who don’t know you trust me, folks, when Eileen walks into a room and she’s a giant at about, what are you, five feet on, standing up nice and street, but that room begins to circle around you. There is an energy you put out there that’s that. We don’t get that out of a book. So I’m just curious, in terms of your half fullness, is that a learned behavior? Were you born that way or is a little bit age?
Eileen McDargh (12:46):
That’s an interesting question. When I go back and look at the photos of my brother and sister and me as kids, my brother who is a twin, he has a PhD in religion and psychology. My baby sister is the chair of the board of United World College and very focused. And so when I look at us as kids, John is very serious. Susan is, and I’m sitting there with this goofy expression on my face petting the dog. And I think that my inclination desire is, and I remember this in high school, I don’t know that I can make people wiser, but can I make them happier? It is just been, I don’t ask me what, yesterday I was in Costco and they screwed up on when they’re bringing the stuff through. And so I had to go over to some guy who was a manager who was going to fix up him on my credit card, and he had on a windbreaker, and I could see where it was closed, there was the first part of his name, it was j e. And I looked at him and I don’t know where this came from, but I said, well, your name is either Jeff or Jesus.
(13:58)
He cracked up. He said, now, because we’re doing this during the holiday season, he said, people are so serious. I said, intent. And he just laughed and laughed. I have no idea where that came from. Which is why I said sometimes on I’m on the earth for comic relief because one, we begin to laugh at ourselves, then we begin to say, so what really matters? Yeah,
Rob Jolles (14:18):
What’s it? Yeah. And my wife sort of watches me, and I actually don’t do it intentionally. I’m not trying to manipulate people, but I have an instinct when I meet somebody, a waiter, an Uber driver, somebody, that we are going to have this moment together and it’s not going to be terribly long. I have this instinct to want to make them laugh, to want to warm them up. By the way, the reason why I said it’s not trying to be manipulative. Funny thing when you do that, you’re actually making things a lot nicer for yourself. Absolutely. When you’re doing it.
Eileen McDargh (14:56):
Lemme say another thing that, and I think it is about giving yourself energy about resilience, is when you get out of yourself and you care about the other person, watch what happens. If you’re standing in line at a supermarket and here’s the clerk and she has on the name badge and it says, Sherry, you say, Hey, Sherry, by the way, that’s a great pair of earrings you have on. Just want to let you know. Nobody ever noticed that when I go running in the morning and I see people with their dogs, I know the names of dogs now, and I say, well, how are you by the way? How are you up there? But I really like your dog. It’s interesting just even acknowledging that people exist right now. I think one of the greatest pandemics is loneliness where people don’t realize that they’re really cut off and they feel alone. And anything that I can do to say, I see you. I mean, there was a garbage man the other day and I stopped him and I said, thank you for your service. I was like, it’s my job that nobody ever thanks me. So it’s just really interesting and I feel better. I’m selfish for it because he really, it just that little bit fuels me up to say I’m not alone either.
Rob Jolles (16:11):
Yeah, that’s great. That’s really great. That’s very interesting. I do it naturally and I’m always reminding my wife or my friends, I’m not doing this to get any, I don’t want anything. I don’t do it to get a free appetizer. I did it because I’m going to enjoy them and it’s unconscious. But we’ll, everybody’s going to be able to app, and it makes me feel good to hear that story you tell, because that’s the way I want the waiter or the postman or whoever it is. I want to walking away with a smile. I want to think I had a little something to do with that that puts energy in me.
Eileen McDargh (16:48):
It, and it’s not that it’s manipulative. You want to say, how can I give? Right? Or me. We were walking down the streets of Santa Barbara and here was this man who had one arm. He’s playing a guitar Rob with one arm. He’s doing an amazing job with this, and he has his case open up for money. Well, I had a $25 gift card to In-N-Out Burger that someone had given me. I thought, what am I going? I went over and put it in his basket. I just looked at him and said, enjoy dinner, and then walked away. And I felt great. I didn’t need the In-N-Out burger. It’s the small things that we do to extend ourselves to others that in fact gives us back during the pandemic, a lot of people for their male carriers, they would put a little note out where the male carrier was. But I go into the post office, nobody pays any attention to the people behind the counter. They’re the ones that are standing there for eight hours, have to take all the abuse, all the anger, and they’re so patient. So I decided I make lemon cakes and I carried in lemon cakes and I said, I just want to say thank you for you guys for your patience and for being there for us. Rob, the woman behind the counter started crying.
(18:15)
No one had said thank you to them.
Rob Jolles (18:18):
Right. That’s beautiful.
Eileen McDargh (18:19):
So I’ve made it every couple months I bring lemon cakes into the post office
Rob Jolles (18:27):
Every couple of months.
Eileen McDargh (18:28):
Yeah. Well, now that the pandemic isn’t so bad, I see. I haven’t been very good at it, but the truth of the matter is people go, oh my God, because you made it
Rob Jolles (18:39):
Right.
Eileen McDargh (18:40):
I didn’t go buy it. I made it for him.
Rob Jolles (18:43):
I think I’m going to nickname you Lemon cake McDargh from now on. When I see you
Eileen McDargh (18:47):
Robbie, make sure I have your address and I promise I will send you a little
Rob Jolles (18:51):
No, it’s ok.
Eileen McDargh (18:52):
As long as you’re not diabetic, I’ll send you
Rob Jolles (18:54):
No, not diabetic.
Eileen McDargh (18:56):
Want to make sure I have your snail mail.
Rob Jolles (18:59):
I have one more question about you, and then I’m going to get back on topic a little bit, but okay. I outed your size a little bit. We’re on a podcast, but all of a sudden somebody in the car is going five feet tall, not very tall. Well, I’m not so tall myself, if I stand up nice and straight, when I played basketball, I went down and the program is five 10. Yeah. Well, anyway, but I’m curious because I think this kind of contributes, I’m curious about the size piece, only because we are talking about, you wrote a book about resiliency and if for me, if I’m six three and two 10, and I, maybe I don’t have to be quite as resilient, but maybe I’m just curious if size had anything to do with forming this part of your brain that said, I’m going to fight. I’m going to be resilient. Anything to do with it?
Eileen McDargh (19:55):
No. Huh. Let me give you an example. Yeah, way back. You and I both known back in the days, and we could actually go out and speak in person, which thankfully they’re coming back. You would send out a video. So the guy hires me, he’s seen the video. I walk into the room and he says, you didn’t sound that short.
(20:19)
So I’m thinking, why didn’t short sound like mini mouse or something like that? I think that what we carry with us is our own sense of self-confidence and our own internal power, which is resonated whether I am five one or whether I’m six one. Yeah. So it’s never occurred to me. In fact, I never think of myself as being short, irrelevant, though. I have to say, I remember one guy who was really a jerk and obnoxious, and after I finished speaking, he came up and he was just so pompous. And I just looked at him and said, probably shouldn’t have done that. Cause he had an audience. But I said, just remember I look up your nose.
Rob Jolles (21:03):
How do you handle that man? I quiet him down a little bit.
Eileen McDargh (21:08):
I was just like, I got to, made them all laugh.
Rob Jolles (21:14):
I asked the question of you, because for me, it absolutely shaped me. I really am, by the way, I really am right on the bridge. John just right my physical, I really am very close to five 10. The doctor keeps calling five nine and a half. And I said, we’re rounding up. We’re rounding up. Take it up. But I was really small in school. I was the smallest in first grade and the smallest in second grade. And that was a big deal. Yeah, I eileen’s hands up in here. She was too. But maybe it, it’s a guy thing, I don’t know. But it made me want to fight harder. It made me a little bit more fierce. I connected to the movie Cool Hand Luke, when Paul Newman was getting knocked down and getting up and getting knocked down and getting up. And I just thought that the heck with my size, I’ll just not stay down and then it won’t be an issue. But I not only called myself a mc, stubborn, I have no idea where that came from, MCAR, but I referred to myself as a mc, stubborn that when I coached for 20 years, all my small players, when they were in either basketball or soccer, I always brought ’em around me. I said, you know what? You guys are, you’re Mc Stubborns that explained to ’em that we’re a group and we’re going to fight harder and scrap harder. But yeah, for me, yeah, size actually changed, made me fight harder, and I’m grateful for it.
Eileen McDargh (22:41):
That’s interesting. I mean, I know back in the old days when, and I was in a Catholic school, so the girls on one side, the boys are on the other. When we played pe, they here, you’re out on the field and they would choose who they wanted to be on their team. I was always the last one chosen. I mean, I didn’t play third base, I was third base. Just lay down, we’re going to write, roll over you. I can remember feeling rejected because I wasn’t the sports person that they wanted to be, but it didn’t rob it. I never felt like I had to fight about it. What I thought was, it’s not that important. And now when I go to speak, I would love to be down in the center of an audience of a thousand. But I said, you guys, if I get off the stage, I am a disembodied voice. You will never see me. I come by it naturally. I have a twin brothers who half of me is in Boston. So that’s the way it goes. And so nobody even thinks about that.
Rob Jolles (23:40):
That’s interesting. Again, it’s just very interesting. And I wonder if it’s a little bit gender based. I don’t know. But I know, I remember my sister’s very small, but about the same size as you. Which did I say very small, I meant really normal. But in any case, I have two brothers and they’re pretty big. They’re much taller than I am. So my sister and I, you would think we connect on this, we did not, wasn’t a big deal for me. I wanted to be a a point guard for the Washington Bullets at the time I had plans.
Eileen McDargh (24:16):
I think it’s at least right now for the traditional value of the male gender and strong and big. Yes. I just don’t identify with that.
Rob Jolles (24:25):
I gotcha. Okay. So the book is burned out to break through building resilience to refuel, recharge, and reclaim what matters. Okay, so you, let’s let climb into this thing called pandemic and which might be the poster child of a necessity for resiliency. What are we learning about ourselves right now?
Eileen McDargh (24:49):
Well, first off, remember it said from burnout to breakthrough.
(24:56)
So the first thing, and this has been happening, this has been happening actually since the mid seventies, but it’s even worse. So forget the pandemic for a minute. We were already in this state of burnout globally. When the World Health Organization in May of 2019 declared burnout a global experience, then that something is going on. It wasn’t the pandemic. Pandemic hadn’t even hit yet. It’s the way in which we are obsessed with our work, with our life and just being fried. And so building resilience regardless of a pandemic, doesn’t matter. How is it that we approach what we do now, what the pandemic has done, particularly for those in healthcare, in hospitals, in medical centers, they’re experiencing it because of extreme pressure of people who have left who want to get out of the profession, and they’re having to deal with their, so there’s so professionally, depending on the profession, it can really be a serious issue. So burnout to breakthrough is how is it that I figure, what is it that I’m doing? Where is my point of control? And what are some of the choices that I have? Now, that also means organizationally, there are things that organizations do that are just horrific. Well, if we talked about, well, Elon Musk making the declaration, you’re going to work five times harder and I’m going to fire half of you. I mean, hello, you love to
Rob Jolles (26:32):
Welcome to the world.
Eileen McDargh (26:35):
Talk about burnout. It’s called walkout.
Rob Jolles (26:38):
Yeah, yeah. Boy, how about that? For a motivational speech. That’s pretty incredible. Incredible. Yeah. Anyway, good old, old Elon. I was on the site cause I was looking at your book and I, but I found myself, I moved to the bottom of the page. I started reading some of the reviews on the book. And I have to tell you, Eileen, there not to run of the mill remarks. It seems like this book of yours is changing lives here. And you have people plugging this in, not just to burnout at work or a pandemic. They’re plugging it into, I was reading about people handling grief, certain unknowns, changing paths, businesses, social personal challenges. Did you realize that that book was going to touch people in that many different angles?
Eileen McDargh (27:34):
I don’t think that I did. Let me tell you why. I write books. I write them for me because it’s what I need to learn. And so as I’m learning my lessons, I begin to put words to them. So I am thrilled. I thrilled that people are finding this book helpful. I’ve had organizations that create internal book clubs and they buy the book and everybody can read it and then they can have discussions. Because when does a book more than a book, Rob, when it’s a conversation.
Rob Jolles (28:11):
Yeah.
Eileen McDargh (28:11):
I’m not the voice of wisdom. There’s so much wisdom that arounds us. And if we can have those conversations, that increases the individual wisdom. It also helps with that pandemic called loneliness. I’m not alone in feeling this, which is why I think for people in leadership positions, if you come up, I got all the answers, and life is good and fine. You don’t connect with people that way because the truth of the matter, you’re scared too. The truth of the matter is we have no idea what some of this is. All I know is what can I do today and what is it that we operate on values tomorrow, and then we’ll figure out where we go.
Rob Jolles (28:49):
Yeah. Wow. I, I’ve always wondered if I started a second podcast, already have it. The title, it would be called a book, finds You, because most authors, they don’t find the book. The book finds them. And you’ve just demonstrated that yet again of this, you finding this and you needing to write this. And just one more quick thing on that. When you’re an author like Eileen, people will almost always come up and say, you’ve always wanted to write a book. I’ve always dream to write a book. I really want to write a book. And when I get that, it makes me sort of chuckle because my first question is, okay, well, as my dad said, we all put our pants on the same way and at a time. What is it that you want to write about? And they’ll say, that I don’t know. And what you’re hearing is, you’re hearing is, well, it really starts there.
(29:49)
It starts with this feeling in your gut, in your belly that you just described. And then it goes from that why Eileen is the author she is. That’s why when you’re listening to this podcast right now, you need to get this book. You need to get it, and you need to write a review on it. Because I don’t want a book that was manufactured to somebody. Listen, Eileen, go in a storage room over there, write me a book, Good luck with that one. No, it’s very personal. It’s emotional and it consumes you. And when it does, you got a great book. It’s going to be authentic. So I congratulate you. I love the fact that you’ve got groups out there getting together. And that, as I said, I’m just seeing people touched in those reviews. I couldn’t stop scrolling down. I went, usually it’s like, this is a really good book. That’s not the reviews you’re getting.
Eileen McDargh (30:45):
Thank you. That that’s very kind of you to write that. And I think that whether you have published or not, I do believe there’s tremendous value in writing journals. I’ve always kept journals because if I keep it in my head, I can’t look at it. But when I begin to write, I go, oh, this. And I, I’ve written different in different ways. One of my books, gifts from the Mountain, which is through our publisher Barrett Kohler, it was lessons that I learned on a backpacking trip, which was so horrible that I thought, why am I doing this? I have to figure this out or I’m going to kill my husband. He got us lost. He goes, and so they’re vignettes, little vignettes that I would look at something as we were on in the mountains as stuff was happening. What’s the lesson? What’s the lesson? And that actually won the Ben Franklin goal on the board. And it’s small, small, but I also don’t believe you have to write a lot. I think you have to write words that are truthful. You don’t need a lot of words.
Rob Jolles (31:54):
Yep. I got to be authentic and glad you said that because, and oh, by the way, not only does Eileen feel that way, a lot of publishers are feeling that way these days. My last book had to be trimmed down. I came in with, and I know it’s Hu AGL words, but I’m telling you it’s not that many words. I came in with 45,000 words and they said too many words. We got to trim that down a little bit. 40. And what does 45,000 translate to what? About 180 pages? Maybe it wasn’t 200 page book. Too big, too much.
(32:28)
Now different books have different audiences, but I always tell people that are thinking about writing a book. Good news, you were born at the right time. Right now, war in Peace. We’re writing War in Peace so much anymore. They’re trimming down a little bit. Yeah. Okay. Tell me, we’re coming down the home stretch. How about we pin you down to one single piece of advice that you leave for all of us right now? And I’m putting you under the lights on that one, but I know it’ll probably change day to day. But give me what’s hitting your brain right now.
Eileen McDargh (33:06):
Well, two things. One is that quote that I gave to you from Howard Zinn to have hope one doesn’t need certainty. Only possibility. I keep coming back to that. Yeah. And the second thing is, the only place that you have any control or power is right now, yesterday’s, as it says, is a canceled check. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Only today is negotiable. So what is it that I can do today? For example, today I was so looking forward to being with you, Rob, because it does fill my heart. You are such a good man with a good heart to you, and I also love your energy and tomorrow be something else. But for today, this was the most important thing for me to do today, was to be with you.
Rob Jolles (34:02):
Wow. I’m actually very touched by that and I appreciate that. And I think that’s the first time I met you. I think there, I sort of went over, I said, I think that’s kind of a female me over there that just wandering with a crowd around her and it’s taking my crowd. I have to muscle in on that. But like I said, I’ve, I’ve been waiting for months for this one and I’m very excited about it. And so thank you and I’m glad you hit that quote again. I’m going to put that up on the site when we will launch this podcast. So as you’re listening right now, we’ll have that written out for you as well as how to get ahold of Eileen. How do we get ahold of you?
Eileen McDargh (34:42):
Well, first off, as long as you put my name in what you do, I am the only Eileen McDargh that I know of on the planet. My grandmother is dead. So unless there’s somebody else, Eileen McDargh, you can Google me. You can go to my website either using my name or the resiliency group resiliencygroup.com. I am on LinkedIn. You can find me on LinkedIn. I am on Twitter, but I don’t know how long.
Rob Jolles (35:10):
Good for you.
Eileen McDargh (35:11):
I don’t think I’ll do that. But really, LinkedIn is good and I’m really good about answering emails on my website, we do a weekly blog and I do a monthly eig and I try to make it short, and fun.
Rob Jolles (35:28):
Excellent, excellent. And by the way, just for those of you going, okay, so I’m going to Google Eileen Mcar, just so you know, cause I had to practice this. That McDargh is spelled M C D A R G H. So just so you get that right. So we say McDargh, but when I first went on, I went, by the way, is it McDargh? Absolutely not. Don’t do that.
Eileen McDargh (35:53):
Lemme tell you what fast story. It’s a Scott Irish name. My dad said that some distant, distant ancestor was offered the last two letters for the price of one and took them. And so the GH is not pronounced as slow as though as d a r. You could Mac if you wished, but I’ve always thought that’s why we have that gh.
Rob Jolles (36:15):
Good. Well, it works when you say it, but when we spell it, we got to get that out to everyone. So now you know how to spell it. Now you know how to find her. Oh, and by the way, when you go to Amazon, just put her name in, you’ll get all seven of her books. And you can already tell that Eileen, it doesn’t use ghost writers. She’s penning these things from her gut, if you don’t mind me saying from her soul. And those are the books personally, I like to read. So good, good on you, my friend. We’ll wrap up. I want you to know I had very high expectations for this conversation and you far exceeded them and it’s been delightful. And folks, we’re going to say goodbye in a second, but I’m not saying goodbye because I got to keep talking to my friend here. But I hope you enjoyed this conversation and Eileen, I thoroughly enjoyed speaking with you today. Thank you so much for talking with us
Eileen McDargh (37:13):
Ditto. Rob, thank you so much.
Rob Jolles (37:16):
Well, we’ll do it again as well as we can next time. Everyone. Until then, stay safe.
Outro (37:24):
Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed today’s show, please rate and recommend it on iTunes, outcasts, wherever you get your podcast. You can also get more information on this show and rob@jolles.com.