When you ask someone to do something, one of two answers are usually heard: “I’ll try” or “I will.” At first glance, these two responses sound a lot alike. After all, aren’t we taught to always try, or try real hard or try our best? Yes, it seems pretty easy to answer most questions with the words, “I’ll try.”
When you think about it, “I’ll try” is actually a really slick and convenient response to just about anything that presents a challenge. When we say those two words, what we’re really saying is: “I’ll put some effort into this… but I think I’ll hedge my bets too. I may succeed, or maybe I won’t, but don’t hold me accountable.”
The best part about the words, “I’ll try” is if you use them, you’ll never fail. If you succeed in whatever you’re trying to do, good for you! If you are unsuccessful, it’s no big deal; at least you tried. In fact, “I’ll try” is almost like our own personal, “Get out of Jail Free Card.” You can use that phrase every time you’re not fully committed to succeeding. Of course, the problem with this particular “Get out of Jail Free Card” is that, unlike the game of Monopoly, where you can only use it once, you can just keep using the card over and over again. Each time you use it, the card becomes easier and easier to use. And failing will be easier and easier to accept, too.
Now let’s look at the phrase “I will.” Why are we so worried about using those words? I believe it’s because when we use those words, we make ourselves 100% accountable for our actions… and it scares us. When we say “I will,” there is no “Get out of Jail Free Card.” There is no place to hide. There is just the knowledge that we have to do our very best to succeed. But even though we try our hardest, we may not succeed – we might fail. But is that really such a terrible thing?
Failure is not a death sentence, and it’s certainly something we can rebound from. As a matter of fact, isn’t failure one of the keys to success? Read any success story you choose, and I can almost guarantee you that you will find a story of failure woven into the fabric of that success. Failure is often what paves the way to accomplishment.
In the end, the words “I’ll try” are almost the right words. Mark Twain once wrote, “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” The next time you are challenged to take on a task, whether by another individual or by yourself, use the right words: I will. What’s the worst thing that will happen? Failure? You’ll be that much closer to success and sooner or later, you will succeed.
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There is NO get out of jail free card in my life Rob. Those that are from the “I try” school are letting life happen to them, waiting on TGIF and retirement day. I’d rather make life happen, get banged up and knocked around a bunch and fail my way to success. And I know I am among good company including Steve Jobs who dropped out of college, got fired from Apple early in his journey with them and kicked cancer’s butt the first go ’round. I am all in and “I WILL.”
Great BLarticle Rob. Keep up the great writing, coaching and helping. Your inspiration and motivation are wonderful.
~Doug
I’m not much of a golfer, but I always appreciate a mulligan, but only one. Imagine how useless the game would be if we had unlimited mulligans? Nope, no get out of jail free cards for me either. By the way, I am currently witnessing your membership in the “I will” club as you doggedly pursue the project we have been discussing. Thanks so much for posting Doug.
Reminds of a quote from one of my favorite modern philosophers:
DO or DO NOT… There is no TRY” Yoda
Know that quote, I do! One time I served as President of my community and unfortunately we weren’t the most cooperative community. I planned a clean up day, and worked hard to get people out and working together. We cleaned up our community picnic area and I placed a plaque on the structure that still stands there to this day 15 years later. It reads, “The shortest answer is doing.” Thanks for adding you and Yoda’s voice to the discussion Ian!
As a coach I ask for a declaration and there is no substitute for I will. Also there is no ASAP either. The declaration is a verbal commitment to take action. The action must come with a time frame otherwise, it is like saying I ‘ll try. Your ASAP might be tomorrow. Mine might be next week after my trip to Cancun. Our intentions are good, but our firm declaration gets the job done in a reasonable time frame. I will continue to read your blarticles each week.
Isabel
I like to hear a coach’s opinion regarding this topic. As a professional speaker, I do not coach as often as you, but when I do, this becomes a hot topic for me. Glad to hear you’re on top of it as well. Thanks so much for posting Isabel.
Agreed. As a proponent of attitude as a major success driver, the difference between “I’ll try” and “I WILL” is can be a deal breaker… or maker!
Deal breaker – deal maker – and committed participant. The response, “I’ll try” has almost has become slang. It’s never as black and white as I’d like it to be, because as a banker friend of mine wrote me after he read this, “We can’t say ‘I will” when we aren’t 100% sure or we can be sued.” How can you argue with that? But by golly, I like to work as often as possible with “I will-ers!” Thanks for posting Beth!
Old Chinese Proverb…
“There is no try. There is do or don’t do.”
And that comment comes from a man I’ve known for over 20 years, and believe me; he’s a doer! Great hearing the voice of Mark McGannon. We’ve each watched each other get up and “do” too many times to count. Keep on doing Mark!
Very well stated, Rob. Another one people use is “I should.” Sure we all “should” exercise more and eat better, but we need to commit to that if we really want to get it done.
You’ve hit on something there. “Should” and “could” and “would” and any other “ould” you can come up with doesn’t match the power of, “I will.” Not if, but when that leads us to failure, we get back up, dust ourselves off, and commit to doing it again! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts Brad!
I once heard it said that, “Trying is failing with honor.”
I like that! I’m thinking I’ll amend that to, “Saying you will, and not succeeding is failing with honor.” Always glad to hear from you Steve.