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October 12th, 2022
We’re taught to persuade by learning to ask questions and listen. That might be the oldest lesson is selling, but it’s seldom followed. Want to know the second oldest lesson… that is seldom followed? In this Pocket Sized Pep Talk I’ll tell you what it is, and ways to make sure you don’t forget it!
Rob Jolles (00:00):
We’re taught to persuade by learning to ask questions and listen. But let’s have ourselves some pocket-sized pep talk because there’s another lesson that’s quickly forgotten, and I’m here to remind you
Intro (00:12):
A pocket-sized pep talk, the podcast that can help energize your business and your life with a quick inspiring message. Now, here’s your host, Rob Jolles.
Rob Jolles (00:25):
So much has been written about the need to ask questions. Sometimes I feel guilty reminding people how important it is to ask questions. Need. I remind you that the more people talk, the more they like the person they’re talking to. I guess not, but should I remind you that asking questions indicates that you’re really interested in the person you’re talking to? I suppose not. Lastly, have I mentioned that asking questions is crucial in building trust? Darn it. There I go again. But what if I told you that’s only half the story, and some of the workshops I deliver, I run a little exercise that involves having people take turns selling something to another individual. I pass out small tape recorders. Now we use smartphones so they can record those conversations. By listening to the recordings, we find that they may not be asking any questions.
(01:21)
Oh, believe it or not, they’re asking too many questions. Is it possible to actually ask too many questions? It sure is, particularly if you’re asking the wrong kind of questions. The right kind of questions are open questions, questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. Open questions get people to expand on information. They can open up a reserved person. Now, sometimes a well-placed open question like everybody has a story. What’s yours? Can take another person five minutes to answer. Now, on the other hand, close questions or questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. They can confirm information, test understanding, sometimes intimidate another individual. Close questions not only don’t get a conversation going, they can kill the good conversation. I think everybody has a memory of a bad first date with someone, and I’m guessing that there are a lot of closed questions asked during those dates. The conversation may have been something like this. So you lived here long? Yes. Yes, I sure have. That’s nice. Do you like sushi? Yes. Yes, I do.
(02:48)
I can go on, but it’s too painful. Close questions not only kill a good conversation, but they can also intimidate. If you’ve ever been stopped by a police officer for speeding, I’m, you didn’t hear a whole lot of open questions like, how you doing, sir? Share with me your feelings about the law in this great state of Maryland. Instead, you most likely heard, do you know why I pulled you over? Do you understand the laws in this state? Do you have your license and registration for this vehicle? This isn’t an accident. These questions are intended to intimidate you. This is not supposed to be a conversation. It’s an interrogation, and it’s quite effective if you’re a police officer. You see, just learning to ask questions is not enough. You need to know what kind of questions to ask and when to ask them. By doing that, you’ll learn a lot about the person you’re talking to and the conversation will flow effortlessly. It is such a seemingly simple concept, but being aware of the kind of questions you ask will serve you well.
Outro (03:58):
Think so much for listening. If you enjoyed today’s show, please rate and recommend it on iTunes, outcasts, wherever you get your podcast. You can also get more information on this show and rob@jolles.com.