Want to know a word that ironically trips a lot of people up? That word is “balance.” It is such a simple word, but it becomes complicated when you look at its applications.
First, we seek balance in our lives. We want to be good to our friends and spouses, but without balance, we run the risk of smothering that relationship. By the same token, other things might overly consume us. That lack of attention to our spouse or children might be sending a signal that says we just don’t care. When you find a friendship or a marriage that gets it right, you’ll find people who can keep it all in balance.
We want to be good parents, but again, we need to have balance. We can either inhibit the growth of our children by trying to do too much for them, or create serious dysfunction by not being there enough for them. When you find a fully functioning family that gets it right, you’ll find parents who know how to keep it all in balance.
I had the pleasure of spending a day with a close-knit group of friends who seem to have the concept of balance just right. I learned this in the first 90 seconds I spent with them. All I knew was that they all had kids in school together, and because I knew no one in the group, I politely asked if everyone could introduce themselves. I assumed I would be hearing introductions about themselves and a lot about their kids as well. I was wrong.
This group let me know that they operate this way: When they are with their children, (which is what brought them all together in the first place,) they are locked in as parents. But they also get together on a regular basis without their children. This is not something that bothers them in the least bit. As a matter of fact, they refer to these get-togethers as “FWALK-ing,” which stands for “Fun With-Out Kids.” When parents can keep it all in balance, they are happier and better parents.
We seek balance in our business lives as well. We want to be successful in our jobs, but without balance, we run the risk of burning out in our profession. Perhaps even worse, we then run the risk of burning out with our families. Find a person in business who gets it right, and you’ll find someone who balances time spent on the job with time spent at home and knows how to keep it all in balance.
Having seen the casualties of too much business travel, I wrote the book, The Way of the Road Warrior. The book was written for both the road warriors who travel, and the ones who are married to those road warriors. They are the ones at home whose lives must bear the brunt of single spouse parenting. Ironically, I’ve only done one keynote presentation in my career that centers on this topic. It seems most corporations do not want a speaker who will be preaching the dangers of too much work! The irony is that Corporate America would benefit greatly by what they would hear: When employees are not in balance, they run the risk of being destructive to the corporation, and to their families at home. When employees are in balance, they are happier and more productive.
If you ever see this book with my signature in it, I can guarantee that you’ll find something else written above my name. I’ve never signed one book without writing these five words…
“Keep it all in balance.”
Is there a more important lesson in business or in life?
I am familiar with some peole in your group. Above all, they are parents, the are professionals, and they love to live life. They are 40year olds who know how to balance. Different generations are stuck in their own way of facing life, work, and they realize too late that their own choices created the life they lead. We can all learn much from the generational differences in work/life issues. Be a listener if you are a baby boomer, be a teacher as well. And if you are an X-gen or milenial be open to what is really important. Tomorrow will come very quickly. Keep your eye on what your purpose is and persue it with enjoyment.
Sometimes balance is achieved by changing paths. My son-in-law was recruited by a very high level consulting firm in California. After marrying my daughter, they relocated to that area. His schedule was such that he was traveling 90% of the time, in the office 5% +, and at home for the little time remaining. Yes his job was very prestigious and the money was good, but their marriage was taking a back seat. They were lucky, he has the talent to find employment anywhere. They made the decision to leave there and return home. He now has his own company, 2 children and time to be a husband and father! Balance was an important factor in their lives.
Great blarticle Rob!
Sometimes I think it is like a teeter-totter; get consumed in work and family life suffers; get consumed in family and the means to support them suffers.
In Tanzania at the moment but will be back next week. Sue and I have to do some FWALKING when I get back!
Keep doing what you do! David O.
Great blarticle Rob!
Sometimes I think it is like a teeter-totter; get consumed in work and family life suffers; get consumed in family and the means to support them suffers.
In Tanzania at the moment but will be back next week. Sue and I have to do some FWALKING when I get back!
Keep doing what you do! David O.
Perfect!! Well then, I’m FWALKing this weekend and must say having quite a lot of fun!! : ) (maybe too much)
Thank you Rob!!
Neil
Balance between work and family, especially in these days and times, is a real struggle. Communication is KEY – between your spouse, your employer, your friends. How many of us have let important relationships/friendships fall by the wayside because we have no time to fit them in after the wife/husband, kids, bills, yardwork, aging parents…the list goes on. But staying in touch – not just sporatically, but frequently, goes a LONG LONG way to helping keep your life in balance. Emails are ok, but a phone call is better…believe me, I know. I’ll never be out of touch with my husband, my family and friends..the things that are truly truly important…ever again. Communicate, always.