Rip Torn explaining the fog of fear
If you havenāt figured it out by now, Iām a movie buff. At six years old, I would walk with my brother Richard to the Silver Movie Theatre in Silver Spring, Maryland and thus began my love for movies. I shared that love with my own kids; one of our favorite outings was a trip to the movies. Iām pretty open to almost any kind of movie, but it is the movieās message that really makes me a fan of a particular movie. I believe most writers and directors are trying to tell us something, and one of the best examples of a movie with a powerful message is a movie called āDefending Your Life.ā
The movie provides a wonderful look at Albert Brooksā vision of death. I know this is a rather morose topic, but Albert Brooks is a comedian, and he takes a kind and gentle look at a topic that most of us would rather not talk about. Brooksā version of death is quite simple: Upon our passing, each of us spends a few days analyzing our lives in a place called Judgment City. In a courtroom, with a prosecutor and a defender, a number of scenes from each personās life are looked at and discussed. There are two judges who study those scenes and listen to the defense and prosecution for why the person behaved the way he or she did in those particular scenes. Then those judges come to a verdict, and that verdict determines if the person should move forward through the universe, or go back to live another life to try and get it right.
What I found most fascinating was the ultimate criterion that was used to make this determination. Surprisingly, it had little to do with our day-to-day activities, how much money we made, or our various accomplishments. The success or failure of our lives came down to one, simple question:
Did we overcome our fears, or did we let fear hold us back?
Take a moment to think about that statement. How often in life have you shied away from a particular decision or activity based solely on fear? Perhaps it was an interview, a conversation, a relationship, a new idea, or a presentation. Often that fear can mask itself in creative excuses, twisted logic, or well-timed procrastination.
On the flipside, when we can move through our fears and leave our area of comfort to try something daunting, we are immediately rewarded with a sense of deep satisfaction. The funny thing is that this sense of deep satisfaction often has little to do with the results of our endeavors. Our psyche is smarter than that. We carry that sense of pride because, by golly, we tried. The more often we battle through that fear, the quieter the voice of resistance becomes. Unfortunately, the more often we let fear hold us back, the more confident and assertive the voice of resistance becomes.
There are some many wonderful moments in the movie, but one line in particular caught my attention. During a conversation with his defender (played by Rip Torn,) Albert Brooks questions how fear can be such a determining factor in our lives. Rip Torn looks at him and says, āFear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything – real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can’t get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you’re in for the ride of your life.ā
Iām guessing thereās a voice in your head saying, āMaybe today is the day I push through the fog and finally try to do ______.ā Why not remove the word āmaybeā and just push through that fog of fear? Why not just take the plunge and go for it?
Face the fear but do it anyway. Action is the enemy of fear. I love this message and your story. Thanks Rob for BLarting it out. Xo
I know you pushed through that fog to get your book written and published! Thanks for posting Doug.
…and that’s the truth! Or as they say, “BINGO!”
Even if you’re not a fan of the Bible, it’s compelling that there are as many “do not fear/worry” commands as there are days in the year. Coincidence?
I don’t believe in coincidences and it sounds like you don’t either! It’s a life well lived that pushes past that fog of fear. Thanks for posting Lee.
Rob – You can now be called “Dr.” Rob because you have demonstrated great insight about the operation of the human mind and now qualify for an honorary degree in psychology!!! Excellent piece because, at some level, it applies to each of us. Fighting our fears and demons. Thanks.
Wow! I agree; at some level it does apply to each of us. Pushing our way past our fear, and helping those we care about to do the same, is what this wonderful ride is all about. Thanks so much for the kind words and the posting Ron!
Rob this BLArticle really resonates for me, thanks for sharing the wisdom! I love ’em all! This one makes me wonder: is it “the fear I fear is fear itself” or “the fear, I fear, is fear itself”? (Apropos of having read “Eats Shoots & Leaves” – the greatest book ever on punctuation.)
PS – now if you could just do something about this seemingly endless snow and cold for those of us up here in the Boston area… š
I read that comment of your’s too many times, and I’m STILL not sure how you were connecting that to your punctuation book! It’s the fog of fear my friend. As for that weather in Boston, let’s look at it half-full. You’ve got a decade of better weather coming to Boston because there’s no way this can happen again for quite some time. We’re shoveling out from our paltry 9″ snow from yesterday. A mere dusting for you in Boston!
Now all I have to do is jump. Thanks Rob!
Jump out of a plane that is! Why not push through that fog, and give it a try?
I agree – get rid of those “maybes” and “tries” and “plans” and just do it! Don’t give yourself an easy way out.
Well said. That, “easy way out” voice is always poised and eager to chime in. Don’t listen! Thanks for posting Brad.
Thanks Rob – I recently had a long conversation with my 15-year old daughter about a similar subject. For her whole life, I have had to force her to do things. She automatically resists what she doesn’t understand and yet when forced, she enjoys most opportunities. I have counseled her to know this about herself and push through it with baby steps or she will never have the adventures that make life so interesting. She recently brought me an application to participate in a 2-week exchange program in Chile with her high school. She had tears in her eyes but she initiated it all on her own. ( I have to admit that I was going to force her to do it) I was thrilled. I think we all have a tendency to fear things but I think certain people are particularly susceptible. In my family, my eldest daughter will try everything, she is currently doing a Gap Year in Germany and living with a host family and studying at a German High School. BOTTOM LINE – be self aware and know when you are making excuses for not doing something that you should do. PUSH THROUGH THE FEAR and enjoy the ride!
Well said, and a great story Ellen. What many don’t realize is that each time you keep fear from holding you back, it becomes easier to defeat that “maybe” voice the next time. And yes, what ride life becomes. Thanks so much for posting Ellen.
On target again Rob. One may naively hope for a net or at least a bungee cord but a serious commitment to the leap through that fog requires all-in. “May the force be with us!”
All-in is right Najwa. Pushing through that fog requires a belief that regardless of the outcome, to try is far more rewarding than to play it safe by avoiding failure. Thanks for the post Najwa!
Now of course if 6 year old Rob and his brother walked by themselves to the Silver Theater their parents would get a visit from Child Protective Services.
Hey wait a minute there, my brother was nine! We both pushed our way through the fog by taking that walk into Silver Spring. Nice hearing from you Tony.
How true! Fear is contagious, so when we push through the fog of fear, it inspires others to move forward! Great Blarticle!
Great point. Pushing through that fog has multiple benefits that apply not just to us, but those we can inspire and mentor around us. Terrific post Melissa!
Hi Rob,
I love this post! It’s directly touching on an event I am pushing through right now. Often, a lack of results can instigate that voice of fear. I remember when Les Brown said he knocked on door after door deep into the night until someone opened up and let him pitch his sale. It might have been the hundredth door he tried before he made a sale. He would not go home without a sale because he resolved in his mind that working hard means pushing through until you make something happen, and it will as long as you don’t keel over.
Also, there’s a difference between being assertive and being aggressive and that’s something I like to keep in mind when I’m challenged with a competitive goal. All in all, we can either have that intention to make it to the next level and push, or we can stay where we are and potentially fall down a level or two. I personally don’t see a point in staying still because it’s too predictable.
Thank you so much for getting my mind going in the right direction.
Sincerely,
Taura
I love this post. Taura, you’ve hit on so many great points. A lack of results, as you say, can give that negative voice volume. But I’d like to think there’s another voice that’s making some noise, and that’s the, “we’re way overdo” voice. As a former point guard I had a coach who always told me, “Jolles, each time you miss you’re that much closer to knocking one in!” I sure hope to see another post from you Taura; you have great wisdom!
Rob
Great Blarticle – enjoyed reading it.
Very much on the lines to what you’ve said, and to Lee Self reference to the BIBLE., if I may be allowed to share a quote by Dorothy Thompson “Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.”
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
I can always count on you Harry to enlighten me with a great quote! I may be putting that one up on my wall in my office. Thank YOU for sharing your thoughts!!
Okay. I am hooked. I will watch the movie! š
Awesome Blarticle.
Thanks Rob.
Let me know when you have completed your assignment, and have seen the movie. The fog of fear is just one of many messages in that movie. Thanks for much for the post Lorri!
Great stuff Rob. My fog has not been completely lifted but with your help I’ve navigated through a few new experiences. I appreciate your encouragement and wisdom.
Oh I’m quite sure you have been testing that fog over the past year or so and winning! Keep pushing forward my friend.
Rob — Great Blarticle, as usual!
Reminds me of this past fall when I joined a group of 10-year-olds at an adventure park for a friend’s birthday party. Jumping off the 40-foot platform to do a freefall into NOTHING took a lot of courage for me, but what really pushed me to do it was the sheer courage of one of the 10-year-old birthday guests right in front of me. She took TWENTY MINUTES to get up the courage to jump (yes, we had great harnesses and cords, but still … she had to take that first step herself). She would slowly walk to the edge, then get scared and go back — multiple times. Finally she conquered her fear and jumped.She said later her knees were shaking! She overcame her fear and just did it! So, I took her lead, and am glad I did. It’s become a metaphor for other things in my life lately.
What a wonderful story – particularly the message you took from it. When we take that leap of faith, and conquer a fear, the next leap is never quite as intimidating. Always great reading your posts Sarah.