Part Two
The Group Pause
One of the greatest gifts an audience can give to a speaker can’t be found online or in a store. It doesn’t cost a penny, and anyone can offer it up at just about any time. It’s painfully simple, and yet it frequently needs to be earned. What’s this riddle about? It’s about the greatest gift an audience can give to a speaker – people asking questions.
- Questions can help us determine if our message is getting through.
- Questions can help us determine the attitude of the audience.
- Questions can help us sustain interest in our message.
The list of benefits goes on and on. Not every audience walks into a presentation dying to ask questions. It’s natural for audiences to be uncertain of the safety of asking questions, or unconvinced that the presenter genuinely wants to be asked questions. The easiest way to teach an audience that questions are welcome is to address each question in a courteous, manner, while sincerely expressing your appreciation. That will often do the trick… but what happens when no questions are asked? When presenters ask for questions from the audience, it is this moment when “The Power of the Pause” once again comes into play.
A lot is riding on this moment within a presentation, although asking an audience if there are any questions certainly seems simple enough. However, it’s what we do after we ask the question that gets us in trouble. You see, our malfunctioning internal clock is at it again.
If you think we’re uncomfortable with periods of silence in a normal conversation, that internal clock runs even faster when we are in front of an audience. We are so uncomfortable with silence that our internal clock runs about four times faster than a real clock. What feels like four seconds to you is actually about one second on a real clock. Here’s a scenario that may sound familiar:
Presenter: Are there any questions?
Audience: (Thinking) Well, let me see…
Presenter: Great! Let’s move on then.
By moving too quickly, you can run the risk of antagonizing your audience, and that might even cause your audience to turn on you. After all, if several people have questions they are not getting a chance to ask, your misguided attempt to make room for their questions feels disingenuous to them.
Here’s the solution, and you’re not going to like it… at first. Every time you ask an audience if they have any questions, you’re going to wait ten seconds before you move on. Wait – here’s the part you’re not going to like. You are going to put your hand behind your back and actually count to ten with your fingers. You’re going to do this because if you count to ten in your head, your internal clock will do the counting and it’s going to sound more like “one, five ten.”
When I used to teach a five-day presentation skills class to trainers at Xerox, I always taught them the ten second rule. When I mentioned they were going to wait ten seconds, and actually count it out behind their backs, many would smirk and doubt the value of doing this. From my lectern, I would take out a counter and tell them this: “Over the next five days, I’m going to count each time I get a question after at least five seconds of waiting, and I’ll bet you that I hit this counter at least a half a dozen times.” In six years, I never lost that bet.
I’m quite sure you’re still wondering about all of this: “Ten seconds sounds like a crazy long length of time! What in the world could an audience be doing that we have to wait so long for a question?” They are thinking. They are thinking about what you just taught them. They’re reflecting on how the information you presented relates to their world. They’re taking the pieces of information that you just taught them, and they’re putting the information together so it makes sense to them. This takes time.
Learning how to strategically pause when you ask for questions from a group might be the single most effective way to connect with your audience and establish real credibility. It starts with ignoring the false reads from your internal clock, and using a more disciplined approach to slowing down. Once you do that, you’ll be earning the trust of others as well as demonstrating real, honest, listening.
on your cover page “I hope you enjoy it, and take something form it. Have a nice weekend.”
May I suggest the following: “I hope you enjoy it. Please, take at least one thing from it. Have a great weekend!”
“Please take at least one thing” implies there may be multiple things to gain from the BLAticle.
This may encourage more readership.
All the best to you!!!
Two things I like about this post. First, I always appreciate a good idea. I may be branded the current way, but I’ll huddle up with my web guru and Wayne and ask him about it. Second, we got to hear from my a friend from college. Thanks for posting “Itch!”
Thanks, Rob. Very intriguing point! Now I’ll practice not only 5 second rule for taking actions, but also 10 second rules for listening before talking.
That’s great! Now remember – it’s 3-5 seconds when communicating one-one-one, and 10 seconds when in front of a group asking for questions. You nailed it; always listen before talking. Thanks so much for posting Hui.
Thanks for the insight. I’ve been in training sessions where the facilitator will ask if there are any questions, then immediately move on! Did they really want a question? I think not. I’ll file this information away and pull it out when I’m in this situation.
I’m embarrassed to say when I’m not on my game, that facilitator could have been me! It’s so easy to make that mistake, and most feel like you do asking themselves, “Did they really want a question?” It sounds like overkill, but put that hand behind your back, and count. Thanks so much for the post Connie!
“The easiest way to teach an audience that questions are welcome is to address each question in a courteous, manner, while sincerely expressing your appreciation. ”
I really like this statement! When a speaker is courteous, I will not be embarrassed to ask a question and will know that it will be welcomed. Also when a speaker is qualified to answer questions, they establish that they really know what they are talking about!
Perfect. Now, when YOU are the speaker, prove to the audience that those questions are welcome by not only patiently waiting after you ask for questions, but treating every question received, no matter how strange one might be, with genuine appreciation. Always great reading your posts Melissa.
Thanks, Rob! This is a very interesting subject for speakers and teachers. It’s active listening skills in practice. Should there be music or a bell when time’s up? Should everyone hear it? Is there a good way to put the audience at ease so they can think?
I LOVE your questions!
1. “Should there be music or a bell when time’s up?” Not really needed, but I did keep a call-bell, (one like you’d see on a hotel counter,) and I used to hit it every time I received a question as a way to say thanks for the question.
2. “Should everyone hear it?” Oh, they heard it alright!
3. “Is there a good way to put the audience at ease so they can think?” If it’s not a Q&A, and they are working on an exercise, or just walking in the room, I almost always play music. Just put some thought into the music you choose. It’s not necessarily the music you love, but rather music that is calming and does not call attention to itself.
Needless to say, I LOVE those questions Edia. Thanks so much for asking them.
Hi Rob,
Thank you for this post! I am going to try counting with my fingers instead of my internal clock when giving a pause to my audience. I pause a lot naturally and would say I’m a good listener but I think pauses are a great way to communicate that you’re listening. I’d like to become more concious of my connection with my audience and ever strengthen it.
It’s always nice to read your blarticles Rob–
Sincerely,
Taura
Yep; that internal clock can sure get us into trouble. Just remember – that long, fingers behind the back, disciplined count is specifically used when asking for questions from the audience. Otherwise, you’re good to go on speed. It’s been said many times we listen at a speed that’s about three times that of our rate of speech so speed in delivery is a good thing. Always nice reading your posts Taura!
So very interesting. I have a habit of asking the first question for them….and not giving people enough time to think about their own question. Another great piece Rob…definitely worthy of printing out and reminding myself to follow your sage advice. Thanks again for doing all you do my friend.
Asking that first question is a smart move Doug. We often crawl before we walk with an audience, and rhetorical question, or questions of the audience is a great way to get things going. It’s when we put ourselves out there and ask questions from them that we get those fingers going behind the back and wait… and wait some more. I promise, it will be worth it. Always great seeing a post from you Doug.